Running backs gone wild

Kenneth Walker III caps a weekend of domination as JSFL running backs lead the ST Division teams to a sweep of the Silent Division

Kenneth Walker III ran for 191 yards (almost 20 more than the Denver Broncos entire offensive output) on Monday Night Football to lead the Gerbils to a stunning, come-from-behind win over the Spread Beaters.

We knew yesterday morning that the Gerbils had a shot at a comeback win thanks to RB Kenneth Walker III, even though he was going up against the vaunted Denver defense in the season-opening Monday Night Football clash.

And thanks to the complete ineptitude of the Broncos offense (they were lucky to score one TD and one field goal amongst what seemed like a dozen three-and-outs), the Denver defense was on the field A LOT. And that proved beneficial for Walker and the Gerbils.

Walker outscored Beaters WR Rashee Rice 30-7 on MNF and that allowed the Gerbils to storm back to a 96-89 win, the only game that remained in doubt after the highest-scoring opening weekend in NFL history. And running backs led the pack (and the Packers) in this PointsFest. Here's an updated chart from yesterday's post:

RB	Team	Week 1 Points
Derrick Henry	Tirades	33
D'Andre Swift	Who Dey	31
Kenneth Walker III	Gerbils	30
Jamyr Gibbs	Gerbils	29
Ashton Jeanty	Tirades	26
David Montgomery	Packers	25
Bijan Robinson	Invaiders	23
Jonathan Taylor	Beaters	22

Yes, we're still in a running-back dominated league, folks. That's why six of the 10 protected players were running backs. It's why seven of the 10 first-round picks -- including Walker, who was selected fourth -- and 10 of the first 13 picks overall were running backs.

So the Gerbils comeback capped a Shit Talkers Division sweep of the Silent Division in the opening weekend. The Gerbils were the only ST team that failed to score 100 points or more, and none of the Silent teams managed more than 90. Here's rundown of the carnage.

WHO DEY 126, WTNE 84: The second-most lopsided score on the weekend went to Matty McCumber's team. Though he didn't get much from his beloved QB, Joe Burrow of the Bengals (who finished with a middling 14), he did get 31 from D'Andre Swift, 18 each from WRs Jaxon Smith-Njigba and Chris Olave and 19 from beloved Bengals K Evan McPherson. Justin Jefferson, who scored twice in a game for the first time since 2024, led Jordan Garcia's team in the losing effort. On the bench: Matty could have blown this one out even more with his beloved Bengals defense (18) in there instead of Detroit (7). Nothing would have saved WTNE in this one, though TE Isiah Likely will likely be a starter next week after outscoring starter Quinshon Judkins 19-4.

TIRADES 126, RECLINERS 74: The most lopsided score could have been worse had starting WR Jalen Waddle not produced a big, fat donut on MNF (one catch, two yards, two drops). Let's just say that WR is a weak spot for the Tirades as Tee Higgins scored only 5 points and all three wideouts on the bench (more about that in a minute) outscored starters. But why are we focusing on the have-nots when this team obviously has must-haves? They scored 126 frigging points, after all. And team owner yours truly feels truly blessed that he selected Caleb Williams as his QB with that extra fifth-round pick (thanks, Pringle) instead of Bo Nix. Williams led all scorers in week one with 39 points. Nix (on the bench for the Band Aids) scored 6. And yeah, the running backs... that's what the Tirades focused on in the draft and that's what led this team to triple-digit scoring. First-round pick Derrick Henry scored 33 and second-rounder Ashton Jeanty added 26. It did not matter that keeper Christian McCaffreyu only had 8. The Seattle defense added 13. QB Lamar Jackson led the Recliners with 25 and WR Zay Flowers had 21 before pulling is hammy in the third quarter. On the bench: The Tirades could have piled on 48 more had they started the bench WRs Christian Watson (26) and Alec Pierce (6) and K Cairo Santos (12). There's no help on the bench in this one for the Recliners, save for K Tyler Loop (14) over Harrison Butker (7).

BAND AIDS 114, INVAIDERS 89: There's a reason the Bob Garcia finagled a draft-day deal to keep WR Puka Nakua (who scored only 7, btw) and that's because he had his sights on QB Josh Allen as his first-round pick. And Allen paid off in spades, scoring 35 points in the season opener. Bob's third-round pick, RB Javonte Williams, scored 19 and Ladd McConkey added 14 before he was injured. Bob's theft of the Steelers defense, right out from under brother-in-law John Lambert, led to another 18 points. Vern Ahrendes got 23 from keeper RB Bijan Robinson but not a lot else. QB Justin Herbert looked lost under his new offensive coordinator with the Chargers, and scored only 12 (though not nearly as lost as Bo Nix looked). TE Trey McBride had 13 and the Jags defense 13 for the Invaiders. On the bench: QB Trevor Lawrence had 25 for Vern, but that was his only help there. Jordan Mason (11) or Jacory Croskey-Merritt (12) would have added to Bob's score instead of Travis Etienne Jr. and his 7.

PACKERS 106, RANGERS 84: Jeff Lambert slammed the door on brother John last weekend using the most painful possible method. Jeff drafted John's 2025 keeper, Jalen Hurts, and his 24 points helped lead his team to victory. RB David Montgomery scored 25 in the Flex spot and TE Dallas Goedert added 19 more. Keeper WR Amon-Ra St. Brown had 18 to lead the Rangers and RB Breece Hall added 17. On the bench: Chuba Hubbard (19), Kyle Monangai (18) and DJ Moore (16) would have helped over Flex DK Metcalf (4, but he's a Steeler), Bucky Irving (13) or CeeDee Lamb (10) and the Bucs defense (8) over the Chargers (zip). the Pack could have added 9 had Jeff started K Chase McLaughlin instead of Chargers K Cameron Dicker (2).

GERBILS 96, BEATERS 89: We've already hashed out how Chuck pulled this rabbit out of his hat. Kepper RB Jamyr Gibbs scored 29 and first-round pick Walker added 30. K Eddie Piniero (Go Niners!) had 11. QB Jaxson Dart led Matt Pringle's beaters with 26 and Jonathan Taylor added 22. On the bench: WR Parker Washington (14) over Davante Adams (2) or the Chiefs defense (12) over the Bears (1) could have won this one for Pringle. WR Mike Evans (10) scored almost as much as Chuck's starters at WR and Flex combined (12). Yikes.