Lambs disappoint in Australian opener

Unfortunately for Rangers, Packers and Band Aids, 49ers dominate a team predicted to be Super Bowl contenders

Matt Stafford continued to struggle against the 49ers. He had zero TD passes and a pick in Thursday's loss in Australia, and dropped to 3-7 as a Rams starter and 4-10 all-time.

JSFL Today is not going to probe whether or not jet lag played a part in what happened last night in Melbourne. Because it definitely did. Instead, we'll just look at the results, which are telling:

Matt Stafford and the Rams looked decent in the first half, but did not capitalize on a couple opportunities and were out-coached, then out-played, in the second half. Why does Stafford (who was 0-for-2025 on QB keepers in 2025) get the call on a keeper on fourth-and-goal at the 1 when you have Kyren Williams (who'd already scored a rushing TD)? WTF, genius (talking to you, Sean McVey)?

So, for the most part the Rams fans out there paid the price last night.

In the Battle of the Brothers, the Rangers got a measly 4 points from Stafford and now have a 34% chance of beating the defending champ Packers, who got 12 from Williams, almost all of those in the first half.

Myles Garrett did not have a QB pressure nor a tackle against the 49ers on Thursday.

The Gerbils got one measly point from a vaunted Rams defense that was supposed to be world beating. Myles Garrett (left) looked lost. So did Byron Young. Aaron Donald wasn't even there. Luckily for the Gerbils, they drafted 49ers kicker Eddie Pineiro, who scored 11 and would have made it 16 had his 55-yard attempt in the second half not boinked off the right upright. Chuck Nelson's squad holds a 21-2 lead over the Beaters, but that might be short-lived as Matt Pringle's team is a six-point favorite to rally and win this one. Chuck left WR Mke Evans and his 10-point debut for the Niners on the bench. We'll see if he gets more from his starting WRs George Pickers and Luther Burden III and Flex RB Jaylen Warren.

Bob Garcia is the other Rams fan who was disappointed by Thursday's performance. His keeper (via trade), WR Puka Nakua, was held to 7 points (almost all in the first half) and was a kneecap away from a touchdown early in the third quarter. Instead, he was down at the one-foot line and Stafford got suffed on that fourth-down keeper. He finished with five receptions for 74 yards. The Band Aids lead the Invaiders 7-2 and now are five-point underdogs going into Sunday's play.

The Tirades didn't get as much as expected out of Thursday's game -- keeper Christian McCaffrey looked good, but was given limited work in the first half (apparently a 49ers strategy to keep him fresh for the second half), and then he wasn't really needed to put the game away. He scored 8. Rams kicker Harrison Mevis only had one opportunity, and scored 1 for his extra point. So the Tirades have a 22-9 lead over the Recliners and are a two-point favorite to hold on. They left Brock Purdy's 20 points on the bench (three TDs, one pick) in favor of Caleb Williams against Carolina on Sunday.

Neither Who Dey or WTNE had players starting in last night's game, so that remains an 18-0 lead for Matt McCumber and Who Dey, who are six-point favorites to hold on against Jordan Garcia's WTNE.

Injury update

Invaiders starting WR AJ Brown does indeed have a high-ankle sprain and is out for at least a month.

Gerbils backup QB Sam Darnold has a hip injury that will sideline him for a week or more, we'll see how that affects WR Jaxson Smith-Njigba's output.

Recliners TE Brock Bowers, the team's second-round draft pick, is out at least two weeks after a miniscus trimming procedure.

Tirades backup WR De'Zhuan Stribling left Thursday's game in the second quarter with an ankle injury, not an achillies tear as originally feared.

The rest of the Week 1 schedule

The early Sunday games (1p EDT, 10a PDT) are: Saints at Lions, Ravens at Colts, Jets at Titans, Bucs at Bengals (Matty!), Browns at Jaguars, Falcons at Steelers, Bears at Panthers and Bills at Texans.

The late Sunday games (4:25p EDT, 1:25p PDT) are: Packers at Vikings, Dolphins at Raiders, Cardinals at Chargers, Commanders at Eagles.

The Sunday night game (8:20p EDT, 5:20p PDT) has the Cowboys taking on the Giants at MetLife Stadium in Jersey.

Monday Night Football (8:15p EDT, 5:15p PDT) is an AFC West showdown as the Chiefs travel to Denver to take on the Broncos.