Recliners win the 'Stayin Alive' Bowl

Band Aids, Pack coast to easy wins on Monday night

John Lambert's Rangers needed 10 from Justin Jefferson on Monday night, but that was a tall task given that his QB was Carson Wentz, who looked more comfortable throwing passes to Buffalo's secondary. Jefferson scored 5.

The Recliners had nothing to do on Monday night but watch. With 97 points in the bank and a 10-point lead over the Rangers, whose new star acquisition at WR (Justin Jefferson) was going against the previously leaky Buffalo defense. Note it is "previously leaky."

Jefferson was shut out in the first half and scored only 5 in the second and the Recliners (4-5) held on for the win. After an 0-3 start, Chris Zimnoch's team has rallied and this win basically keeps their season alive. They are two games back of the division leading Invaiders, so within striking distance. Realistically, only one team will make the playoffs from the Shitty Division, where four of five teams have losing records.

And now lets look at the Rangers, who had a busy week on the transaction wire last week, capped by boldly gambling last Wednesday's trade with WTNE that brought them Jefferson and TE Isaiah Likely (for WR CeeDee Lamb and a six-pack of Miller Lite). We know Jefferson got 5 on Monday and the Rangers lost by 5. Lamb, who was sent packing (and packing again, more on that in a minute), scored 24. That was unfortunate for the Rangers.

But Jordan Garcia and WTNE were not (and likely still not) done dealing, and the league's other Garcia (Bob) could not have been more prophetic. Bob traded for Lamb on Saturday, then lost his own star WR Puka Nacua, to the IR after the game on Sunday.

Bob got Lamb and RB Saquon Barkley for RB Jordan Mason, WR DeMario Douglas and conditional picks: Bob's first and 5th if the Band Aids win it all, Bob's 2nd and 8th if he does not. WTNE also gets back a 10th and 12 from the Band Aids. Lamb is a critical pickup for the Band Aids with Nacua out until Week 15 with toe and knee injuries. His other receivers? Garrett Wilson is still in concussion protocol and inconsistent. Jordan Addison, at his best, is inconsistent without the concussion.

The RB pickup is not as a big deal as it would seem. Barkley is playing hurt on a team without a QB (have you seen Derrick Henry's output since he became the team's only weapon?) and he wasn't putting up big numbers before any of that happened -- he's the NFL's 30th ranked RB in fantasy scoring, behind stiffs such as Woody Marks and Kyle Monangai (who hasn't played in five weeks). The key here, if there is one, is that Bob was overly dependent on RB Javonte Williams (14.4 average) for scoring and was eager to get some (any) help there. Sure, tony Pollard has helped (12.2 average) but it appears Bob wants to plug Barkley into the Flex spot since his WRs are so thin. We'll see how that works out.

NFL trade deadline

The other shoe(s) that are likely to drop that affect Fantasy lineups will likely occur this afternoon before the 4 p.m. EST NFL trade deadline. Will RB Jonathan Taylor get traded? The rumors are flying and even San Francisco (Go Niners!) with Christian McCaffrey already in the backfield, have been mentioned as suitors. Anxiously awaiting Taylor's landing spot is Spread Beaters owner Matt Pringle, who will likely decide on whether he'll move on from the star RB or not.

There are also rumors flying about WRs Wilson and Brian Thomas Jr. and again San Francisco (again, Go Niners!), along with New England, are supposed to be interested.

On the defensive side, San Francisco is also seeking an adge rusher (Khalil Mack?) and even though this does not matter much in fantasy (unless WTNE manages to trade the 49ers defense, I just wanted to mention this so I can get a third Go Niners! into a third consecutive paragraph.

Ah, fuck it. Go Niners! Make it four.

Week 9 recap

Gerbils 119, WTNE 66: All Chuck Nelson does is keep winning, so no wonder Bob is making trades to try and keep pace. The Gerbils (8-1) got 32 from RB Kenneth Walker III and survived a game with Tyler Shough at QB (he had 19). BTW, QB is this team's only real kryptonite -- Chuck's other option is Kirk Cousins of the Raiders, who threw five picks on Sunday against San Francisco (Go Niners! That's five). He's in the similar position that the Ravens, Eagles and Vikings are in real life. There are no good options there, so don't be surprised if the Gerbils make a move there. For Jordan and WTNE (0-9) they continue their Bataan Death March to 0-15. QB Dak Prescott had 20 for Trader Jordan ... Chuck?

Tirades 110, Invaiders 89: Vern Ahrendes and the Invaiders (5-4) are likely going to make the playoffs no matter what happens down the stretch, thanks to just how hapless his competition is in the Shitty Division. But as we noted with the Recliners previously, the Tirades (5-4) have their backs up against the wall and each week is a playoff game to even get to a possible playoff spot. They got to .500 last week and this week moved into a tie for last place in the Stronger, Tougher Division where all five teams have winning records. Sure, there's no catching the Gerbils at this point but there is a shot at the fourth and final playoff spot, though unlikely. QB Brock Purdy and RB Christian McCaffrey (Go Niners! That's six, same as the number of Super Bowls they've won) led the way with 24 and 19, respectively, and WR Christian Watson has been a real gem this season and had 23, most of those in the second half. Vern's stalwart keeper, RB Bijan Robinson, led the Invaiders with 20.

Band Aids 109, Spread Beaters 90: As mentioned earlier, Nakua and Lamb combined for 46 points to lead the way for Bob Garcia's team (7-2) as they keep a game back of the Gerbils. The Band Aids aren't short on luck, either... they won despite getting two donuts (at TE and Flex) from Tucker Kraft and Ladd McConkey (lesson here: don't draft Chargers?). For Nacua, his 22 points might be his last of the season. It didn't even matter to Bob that QB Josh Allen could only manage 12 against the Vikings defense on Monday night. For Pringle, QB Drake Maye had 18 and (you know this is never good) his kicker, Spencer Shrader, had 16.

Recliners 97, Rangers 92: We've already dissected this one. Put a fork in John's season, biut at least he comes out of this with Justin Jefferson next year (and hopefully a healthy Vikings QB). The Recliners (4-5) got 21 from WR Ja'Marr Chase and 17 from kicker Dominic Zvada. TE Brock Bowers had 16 and QB Pat Mahomes 15. At RB, the Recliners got 12 from Rhamondre Stevenson and a big fat zip from Josh Jacobs. RB Bucky Irving led the Rangers with 23 and should be on the trading block.

Packers 92, Who Dey 80: I know Jeff Lambert hates the Raiders, but he does abide buy that old Al Davis motto: "Just Win, Baby!" And the Packers (6-3) did just that last week thanks to 22 points from WR Matthew Golden and 16 on Monday night from James Cook. Matt McCumber got his usual 28 from QB Joe Burrow but probably wishes he could have also put a QB at Flex, as he also got 34 from his backup CJ Stroud. As it was, Who Dey had only three starters in double figures and of course, one was kicker Tyler Bass (13). WR Tetairoa McMillan had 11.