Close calls for Beaters, Gerbils

Tirades QB Marcus Mariota almost sparks a comeback against Chuck Nelson's contenders, Band Aids come within a point of dashing Matt Pringle's title hopes

The Patriots defense was one pick away from helping the Band Aids score an upset win over the Spread Beaters.

Week 13 certainly had some surprises in store as two playoff hopefuls nearly had their plans derailed by teams that have already started packing the tents for 2025. The Band Aids (3-10), bolstered by 21 points from WR Rashee Rice, got 11 from the Patriots defense on Monday night and were two points away -- one measly interception or fumble recovery -- from an upset win over the Spread Beaters (8-5).

The Tirades, who started a lineup that would strike fear into the heart of no one, got 14 from the Jaguars defense, 22 from Commanders backup QB Marcus Mariota and a 56-yard field goal from K Nick Folk as time expired to erase a 20-point deficit against the Gerbils, only to fall by 6.

There was, though, one actual upset last weekend: Jordan Garcia's WTNE (7-6), which also had taken down its tents for 2025, scored a 108-94 win over the Silent Division-leading Recliners (8-5) and that division is now a big fat mess. Both WTNE and the Invaiders (7-6), who also managed to win, now have a glimmer of hope to secure a playoff spot

Oh yeah ... the Packers won big again. Yawn.

Trade update

Invaiders owner Vern Ahrendes managed to cajole, brow-beat and otherwise harass Recliners owner Chris Zimnoch into a last-second trade, getting the last free-agent-to-be -- RB Bijan Robinson of the Reciners. The Invaiders sent WR Ja'Marr Chase (who'd been on the team for a week, they had yet to sew a nameplate on his jersey) and RB Kyren Williams for Robinson and WR DK Metcalf. It its thought to be the first trade involving the Recliners in Zimnoch's history as a JSFL owner.

Swami Update

Swami went 4-1 in week 13 and thanks to the two near-upsets that didn't happen, improved to 38-27. Any hopes we had of Swami falling to a .500 win percentage this season have been put to rest.

Week 13 Recap

Packers 129, Who Dey 106: AJ Brown, who's had a pretty quiet 2025 season to date, made some noise last weekend. His 26 points led an octet (that's 8) of Jeff Lambert's starters who scored in double figures in the win over Matty McCumber's Who Dey (5-8). Only the Colts kicker was lagging (4 points) for the Pack (11-2). QB Drake Maye had 20 and RB De'Von Achane 19. Who Dey was led by QB Jordan Love (25) and Flex WR Jameson Williams (20).

WTNE 108, Recliners 94: The Seahawks defense scored 30 and TE Brock Bowers rose from his 2025 slumber to score 18 as Jordan scored the upset win. Robinson led the Recliners in his last start for the team, scoring 25, and QB Dak Prescott added 20.

Gerbils 82, Tirades 76: QB Pat Mahomes scored 29 to lead the Gerbils (8-5) to the victory. WR Davante Adams added 17 and former Tirades (4-9) RB Breece Hall 12.

Beaters 78, Band Aids 77: RB Derrick Henry, recently acquired from the Band Aids (3-10), scored 16 much-needed points for the Spread Beaters as they held off the upset bid. WR Nico Collins had 15, QB Jaxson Dart had 15 and RB Jonathan Taylor 11 for the seemingly beatable Beaters.

Invaiders 71, Rangers 59: QB Bo Nix led the Invaiders with 15, RB Kyren Williams and WR Chase each had 13 in their last (and in Chase's case, only) starts for Vern. Bills QB Josh Allen led the Rangers with 15.