Yes, the Recliners are that good

Chris Zimnoch's team extends its lead in the Silent Division, and it's become a free-for-all at the top of the ST Division

Joe Mixon scored five TDs last week to lead the Recliners to a big win over the Rangers.

The Recliners won again last week, and won big, and with just about half a season to go have taken control of the Silent Division with a 7-2 record. Barring a catastrophic spate of injuries, you can pull out the Sharpie (forget the pencil) and ink Chris Zimnoch's team in as the first playoff team for 2022. The Spread Beaters are trying to keep pace: they blew out the Band Aids to remain two games behind the Recliners, and the rest of the division is 4-5 and breathing in the exhaust.

Over in the Shit Talkers Division, we have the exact opposite. Blayze Hanson's Saddles had the early edge but have struggled through the Bye Weeks era, allowing the Packers and Tirades to get back into the mix. Now all three teams are tied for the division lead at 5-4. The Gerbils are one back at 4-5 and the Band Aids are planning out 2023 draft options at 2-7, the only team that's truly out of it at this point.

Recliners 131, Rangers 103: John Lambert picked a bad week to give up playing against any of the other eight teams in the league. OK, so he also would have lost to the Spread Beaters, but these three Silent Divsion teams (Recliners, Rangers, Beaters) outscored all the other teams in the league this weekend. The Recliners won this one thanks to one player: Joe Mixon. The oft-lamented running back (ask some other league owners who have drafted him in the past) paid off for Chris as he scored a season-high 50 points, thanks to 153 yards rushing, four rushing TDs (all in the first half, and equaling his output in the first eight games of the season) and a TD reception. Vern Ahrendes, league historian, will be tasked with the job of finding any similar scoring efforts of late, but they must be few and far between. The Recliners also got 20 from WR Tyreek Hill and QB Lamar Jackson and 16 more from TE Dallas Goedert. Lambert's Rangers got 26 from WR Davante Adams and 23 from Travis Etienne Jr. but with five players on bye week, was definitely shorthanded for this one and was stuck with D'Onta Foreman (2 whopping points) as his RB2.

Beaters 123, Band Aids 62: This one was over before the kickoff. Band Aids QB Kirk Cousins was the only one on his team to score in double figures (16 points) while four teammates had bye weeks and stalwart TE Mark Andrews was out with a shoulder injury. Matt Pringle's Spread Beaters (5-4) had no such issues. They were led (as usual) by their pounding RB tandem of Derrick Henry (23 points) and free agent pickup of the year candidate Kenneth Walker III, who scored 24 points. The Patriots defense also posted a 24-spot against the hapless Colts and QB Jalen Hurts added 20.

Tirades 89, Invalids 73: Invalids owner Vern Ahrendes was close in his prediction that his team would lose by double-digits. But it took a second-half eruption from Tirades QB Patrick Mahomes (23 of his 33 points were scored in the second half Sunday night) to salt this one away. RBs Dalvin Cook and Miles Sanders combined for 25 points, and Tirades owner Ron Hender left 29 on the bench from his other two RBs: Rhamondre Stevenson had 13 and has scored in double digits in 6 of his last 7 games (maybe he should start?) and Cordarelle Patterson, who was a third-round draft pick, tore up his knee, was dropped and then re-signed last week, had 16 in his first game back (maybe he should start?). Patterson's return sent Tirades RB Raheem Mostert to free agency, and Vern was quick to pounce on him. But then the 49ers, suddenly flush with running backs after trading for Christian McCaffrey and getting back Elijah Mitchell this week, sent Jeff Wilson to Miami. And it was Wilson scoring twice for the Dolphins last weekend, not Mostert, who managed 8 points for the Invalids. Cooper Fucking Kupp scored 18 to lead Vern's crew, one more than kicker Nick Folk.

Packers 76, Saddles 69: Jeff Lambert's Pack got more from Josh Allen (24 points) than Allen's real-life team did. The Packers used the team-leading 24 points to move into a first-place tie with the Saddles, meanwhile Allen's Buffalo Bills lost to the upstart Jets. RB Dameon Pierce had 13 for the Pack and last-ditch WR pickup Allen Lazard had 14. For the Saddles, Kenyan Drake moved into a starting RB spot and responded with 22. But Aaron Jones was as disappointing as his real-life Packers team, scoring only 4 points, and Blayze continues to start Justin Hebert (11 points this week, 25 combined in Weeks 6-7)at QB over Tua Tagovailoa, who scored 24 this week and 28 in his bye week replacement showcase last week. And he had 21 in Week 6. He may be clamoring for a trade at this point, but that could just be the recent concussion talking.

Gerbils 77, Pillows 62: Chuck Nelson's Gerbils remained within a game of the division lead with the win over Matt Huey's Pillows. Both teams are 4-5. QB Joe Burrow led the Gerbils with 19 points and he got 17 from RB Austin Ekeler and 14 more from WR Jalen Waddle. The Pillow Biters got 20 from QB Kyler Murray and 12 more from K Ryan Succop.