We were right, Invaiders tilt wasn't the game of the week

Band Aids stage a rally for the ages on Monday night to upset Packers; Tirades and Invaiders are alone atop their respective divisions

Band Aids TE Mark Andrews caught two TD passes and a pair of two-point conversions.

This was going to be a nice and friendly roundup of Week 5 action in the JSFL until Beaters owner Matt Pringle shot off his mouth about the Dodgers and more specifically, the beloved Giants*, in the National League Divisional Series.

Long story short: upstart Giants shut out the mighty Dodgers for the second time in three games. Max Scherzer? The guy who never loses and team that never loses when he starts? Yeah, that guy was the losing pitcher. Trey Turner? He may be the shortstop of the future for the boys in blue, but he was overshadowed by SF counterpart Brandon Crawford's defense last night. MVP! MVP!

Let’s just say some of the things said about the Giants last Saturday resonated with Vern's football team on Sunday, and they got out the whoopin’ stick – it did not hurt that one of Pringle's key players was carted off the field Sunday before scoring a point. You poke the bear, and you are going to get gashed.

It's no coincidence that the two owners that are the most loyal Giants fans – those of the Tirades and Invaiders – sit at 4-1 and are in first in their respective divisions today. The Tirades snoozed through a win over the AWOL Gerbils and the Invaiders hung on for dear life Monday night and eked out the win over the Spread Beaters, thanks to two fumbles by Lamar Jackson. Elsewhere, back to the real game of the week: the Band Aids rallied Monday night to steal a win from the Pack. More on that in a minute. Also, the Saddles and Rangers had a nail-biter also decided Monday night, with the Saddles coming out on top, and the defending champ Pillow Biters fell to 0-5 at the hands of the previous champ Recliners.

Looking ahead to Week 6, the division-leading Tirades taking on the surging Saddles in the Game of the Week. The other division leader, the Invaiders, take on the Pack, who dropped to 3-2.

Week 5 was a week of attrition. And, quite possibly, a week of Russian roulette with running backs who didn’t play. I’ll explain later. Several stars were carried off of the field over the weekend – most notably two keepers, Saquon Barkley of the Beaters and Tyreek Hill of the Rangers. Other notable injuries were Tirades RB Clyde Edwards-Helaire, the Invaiders’ Russell Wilson and Recliners TE Travis Kelce. The good news for Barkley is it appears to be only an ankle sprain and may only knock him out of action a week or two, at most.

Either way, there might be some heavy traffic on the transaction wire Tuesday morning if there are some longer-term injuries. Now, to the week that was ….

Tirades 76, Gerbils 43: Remember when we mentioned last week’s scoring futility for the Gerbils? We didn’t think it would be a reoccurring occurrence. But, the Gerbils set a new low for the season in this dismal loss to the Tirades. This was the case of the Russian roulette with RBs. Is it possible that Ron said, “I’ll play Dalvin Cook, Chuck, if you play Christian McCaffrey?” If that was the case, it would explain why both star RBs were still in the starting lineups at kickoff Sunday morning. Both were questionable going into the weekend and there were hints McCaffrey might suit up and go for Carolina but he stayed on the sidelines one more week and might be a full go in Week 6 against the Band Aids. “Sure, he plays against me,” Bob Garcia was overhead muttering. The Tirades did not need much. D.K. Metcalf netted 21 points before Seahawks QB Wilson left the game Thursday against the Rams. Patrick Mahomes added 19 and Chubba Hubbard 13. The Tirades might have some RB insurance from Corderelle Patterson (11 points on the bench) if Dalvin Cook still can’t go next week. The dismal Gerbils were led by 12 points from Amari Cooper. No one else was in double figures. His bench, however, scored 55 (Chase Claypool 19, Dawson Knox 17 and Ryan Tannehill 13).

Band Aids 119, Pack 103: It was the biggest Monday-night rally since the Carlos Hyde nightmare 10 years ago. Mark Andrews posted a team-high 30 points Monday to erase a 20-point deficit. The Band Aids got two TDs and 24 points from Alvin Kamara, 19 from Aaron Rodgers and 14 each from CeeDee Lamb and Greg “The Leg” Zuerlein. Garcia left another 24 points from Antonio Brown on the bench. Josh Allen had a field day for the Pack at Kansas City racking up 35 points. Damien Williams was plucked from the free agent wire to score 14 and Deebo Samuel added 12. An impressive 28 points from Mike Williams was left on the pine.

Recliners 105, Pillows 83: Tom Brady tossed 5 TDs and scored 39 points, Ezekiel Elliott scored twice for 23 points and Travis Kelce found the end zone to score 11 in this romp. The win improves the Recliners to 3-2, one game out of first. It is getting downright ugly for The Consortium. Derrick Henry scored his impressive 31 points and the New Orleans QBs added 27. But that was about it.

Saddles 114, Rangers 96: Blayze needed 7 points from Marquis Brown Monday night (and got it) to pull this one out of the fire. Brown put a team-high 24 points on the board in the game against the Colts. The Saddles got 22 more from Jalen Hurts, 20 from James Robinson and 17 from Kyle Pitts. The Rangers were led by the 41 posted by the Chargers QBs (Justin Herbert for president), 13 from Hunter Henry and 12 from Justin Jefferson.

Invaiders 105, Beaters 104: Thank god I was not watching this one unfold. I was watching the aforementioned Giants/Dodgers game. When Saquon Barkley was carried off the field with an ankle sprain, this one, I thought, was all but over. Even Matt thought it was over. “The Giants have a better chance of winning tonight than I do.” And, he damned near pulled out. If not for two fumbles by star QB Lamar Jackson, including one as he was trying to dive for a rushing touchdown, he would have had enough to rally for the win. “Nothing to see here,” Vern said. “We had this one all the way.” Austin Ekeler scored three times in the wild Cleveland game to lead the Invadiers in scoring with 29. I think it is finally time to Tweet Ekeler with a taunt of Matt to see if we can get a signed jersey. Davonte Adams found the end zone twice and amassed more than 200 yards in receiving for 26 points and Leonard Fournette finally scored to add 16. The Spread Beaters got a game a week-high 42 from Lamar Jackson Monday night, including Baltimore’s game-winning TD in overtime. The Beaters also got 23 from Mike Evans, and 22 from Nick Chubb. We've decided to keep a weekly tally that we're calling "Points From RBs the Invaiders Got Rid Of" and that totaled 44 in Week 5 from Kamara and Robinson.

*If you don't already know that the longest-term members of this league, Vern Ahrendes and Ron Hender, are diehard Giants fans, you should resign and find a lame fantasy league online somewhere that you don't have to pay attention to.