The Pillows won a game! The Pillows won a game! The Pillows won a game!

Matt Huey's defending champs finally broke their losing streak with a victory over the Rangers. Don't worry, they still suck at 1-5.

Pillow Biters WR De'Andre Hopkins says "What? We won?"

OK, we can finally put an end to the comparisons to the 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers, losers of 26 straight games to start their expansion franchise. Coached by John McKay and quarterbacked by Steve DeBerg, the guy who Joe Montana replaced in San Francisco three years later, those were some truly awful teams.

The comparisons had started to float around with a certain team in the JSFL.

But, defending champ Matt Huey was too proud to let the losing skid extend past 5 games.

“Just win, baby,” Huey crowed after handing the Rangers a big-time loss Sunday. “We’re only four back in the loss column and three games out of a playoff spot.”

You gotta love the guy’s confidence. If it was me, I would have already tossed in the towel and started the fire sale for 2022 draft picks. Been there. Done that. (Last year). (And the year before).

“I am just damned glad it wasn’t me who lost to Huey,” Bob Garcia said. “Go Big Blue!”

You know I have to be a bit off of my rocker to be doing a shout out for a guy who is now 1-5. I will write about anything as long as I don’t have to mention those fucking Dodgers.

Elsewhere, the Saddles surged into a first-place tie with the Tirades with a win over those same Tirades. The Invaiders improved to a league-best 5-1 with a win over the 3-3 Packers, while the Recliners kept pace in the Silent Division and loom one game back with a win over the 3-3 Recliners.

Six teams remain at .500 or better with the Band Aids and Rangers just two games under that break-even mark.

Conference battles dominate play in Week 7 as the Band Aids and Saddles tangle. Don’t expect any father-in-law favors this week. Blayze, reportedly, is out for blood. The Gerbils and Packers do battle in the other Shit-Talker showdown. Over in the Silent Division, the Recliners look to improve to 4-3 against the Invaiders and the Spread Beaters hope to claw back into first against the Rangers.

The only interleague action this week features the Tirades and Pillow Biters, or, as Tirades owner Ron Hender calls it, "a vacation."

And, remember to check those lineups early. Week 7 is being dubbed “Byemagadon” in the fantasy ranks as five really good NFL teams and the Jags are on bye this week.

Pillow Biters 122, Rangers 67: The Consortium led the league in scoring this week and ended its 5-game slide in style with this win. Derrick Henry went wild with 33 points, De’Andre Hopkins added 17 and the Rams defense added another 16. Tyreek Hill and kicker Tyler Bass led the Rangers in scoring with 13 each. That should tell you all you need to know about this effort.

Spread Beaters 83, Recliners 78: Stephon Diggs broke a 78-all tie Monday night to lift the Spread Beaters to this win. “I just want another shot at those damned Invaiders,” Matt Pringle said. “Oh, and Blue in six” (Which, BTW, was a late update to "Blue will sweep" a few days earlier). Free agent running back Khalil Herbert (subbing for Chicago) was added to the roster and led the Beaters in scoring with 16 points. The Indianapolis defense added 15 and Diggs grabbed a TD for 14 Monday night to put the dagger in the Recliners. Joe Mixon led the Recliners with 20, Tom Brady scored a pedestrian 17 and Ezekiel Elliott added 11.

Band Aids 82, Gerbils 37: Remember when I was talking about those 1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers? The Gerbils are taking the mantle of trying to set an all-time low in league scoring with the second sub-50 scoring dud in the last two weeks. After scoring 104 in a Week 1 win, the Gerbils have steadily declined during this current 5-game scoring drought. The Gerbs scored 88 in Week 2, 83 in Week 3, 60 in Week 4, and 41 last week. “It was just complete dominance,” Garcia said. “Go Big Blue. Blue in 6” (FYI: Braves lead the series 2-0 after two walk-off wins in Atlanta). The Band Aids scored early and often in this one. Aaron Rodgers led the team in scoring with 22, Antonio Brown added 15 and Josh Jacobs added 13. The Carolina QB was the only player in double figures for Chuck with 15. The next-highest scores were 5 and 4 points. It did not help Chuck Nelson that his keeper, injured RB Christian McCaffrey, went from hurt to will probably play to IR in the space of three days last week.

Blazing Saddles 113, Tirades 77: The Saddles won their third straight victory to climb into a first-place tie in the ST Division behind the 27 from Jonathan Taylor, 24 from Jalen Hurts and 18 from Najee Harris. Patrick Mahomes scored 22 to lead the Tirades. Dalvin Cook continued to get the start at RB and actually played after being doubtful for most of the week and posted a 20. Chubba Hubbard tossed in 12.

Invaiders 103, Packers 89: The Invaders won their fifth-straight behind the team-high 25 from my little Cooper Kupp. Kyler Murray scored 25 and Leonard Fournette, yeah, that Leonard Fournette, fell into the end zone twice Thursday to score 24. Something really awful must be about to happen in this universe. The last time the Invaiders were 5-1, Blayze had not been born. Vern, still despondent over the Giants’ loss in the NLDS, was knocking back shots of Fireball on Sunday to reverse the curse. “If I have to go back to being ‘Basement Vern’ or the ‘Invalids’ to get my Giants back in the World Series, so be it,” he muttered. Hender responded, "why the hell didn't you post that BEFORE they lost last Thursday?" Josh Allen scored 28 points Monday night to make this one interesting. Aaron Jones scored 16 and Seahawks sub Alex Collins added 16 Sunday night.