Saddles ride to win over Recliners

First defeat for Zimnoch's squad; Beaters edge Packers to also improve to 3-1

Mike Evans pointed the way to victory on Sunday, scoring 22 for the Saddles.

The predicted "Battle of the Running Backs" didn't exactly materialize, but Blayze Hanson and his Blazing Saddles managed to survive using his receivers and (gasp!) kicker to hand the Recliners their first loss of the season. The victory sent the Saddles riding to the top of the ST division standings, while the Recliners dropped into a first-place tie with the Spread Beaters, who were victorious over the Packers.

"I may not manage to win the fantasy baseball title," said Hanson, "but I'm sure as hell going to make a run at the JSFL trophy. As long as a bunch of my guys don't get hurt. And if I don't have to play @$%&#! Vern in the final. And maybe some other shit I haven't thought about. But yeah, go Saddles!"

Matt Pringle's Beaters, who have won two in a row after a disappointing 85-84 loss to the aforementioned Saddles, also took care of business in Week 4 along with the Band Aids, Gerbils and Pillow Biters.

Saddles 92, Recliners 70: Mike Evans scored twice and racked up 22 points to lead the Saddles to victory over the previously unbeaten Recliners. QB Justin Herbert added 21 and kicker Younghoe Koo added 12. It did not matter much that RB Jonathan Taylor was held to 3 points by the Titans defense, or that RB Aaron Jones managed only 11. The Recliners got what they wanted from their RBs -- Saquon Barkley and Joe Mixon combined for 27 points -- but QB Lamar Jackson, who came in averaging just over 33 points a game, scored only 12.

Beaters 110, Packers 96: If you were disappointed by the RB effort in the Game of the Week (above), you were not in this one as Matt Pringle's backfield pounded the Pack (2-2) for 42 points as they survived some last-minute comeback thrills from Packers QB Josh Allen (24 points). Yes, Derrick Henry pulverized the opposition for 20 points and Detroit backup- TE T.J. Hockenson was also shocked he

turned-starter Jamaal Williams (not to be managed to score 31.

confused with Javonte Williams in Denver who has now become useless, more about that later) added 22. But it was the sudden re-appearance of TE T.J. "Who?" Hockenson -- he scored thirty-fucking-one points after posting games of 3-2-7 -- that made the difference in this one for the Beaters, who improved to 3-1. "We have been keeping Hockenson down before this one," Pringle said. "Don't ask me how, but we did."

Pillows 81, Invalids 61: Well, Vern has to be expecting a return to earth after some schedule-friendly matchups had his team at 2-1 after three weeks. And Matt Huey was due for a break his way. Both materialized in Week 4 as the Pillows smothered the Invaiders. Both teams are now 2-2. Huey got 22 from QB Kyler Murray, 17 from RB Nick Chubb and 15 from WR CeeDee Lamb. The Invalids got 16 from Aaron Rodgers, 15 from TE Travis Kelce and 12 from Cooper Fucking Kupp.

Gerbils 96, Rangers 80: Another owner who finally got to celebrate an offensive explosion from his team was Chuck Nelson, whose Gerbils improved to 2-2 with the win over the Rangers (1-3). Austin Ekeler finally displayed the effort that was worthy of the first-round draft pick Chuck used to grab him, scoring a season-high 28 points. QB Joe Burrow added 18 and Leonard Fournette, playing for benched keeper Christian McCaffrey (who scored 16), added 11. Justin Jefferson scored 20 for the Rangers before demanding a trade in the locker room after the game. "Screw you," said owner John Lambert. "Shut up and score some more points."

Band Aids 76, Tirades 67: When you get beaten by the Broncos QB, you know your season is shot to hell. I don't care if that QB is Russell "I Used to Be Great" Wilson. But he did score a third of the Band Aids points as they improved to 2-2. Mike Williams added 12 and kicker Daniel Carlson 13. The Tirades (1-3) season continues to spiral down the toilet. They lost two RBs for the season last weekend (aforementioned Denver RB Williams and Corderelle Patterson) and continued to start the wrong guys (Miles Sanders, who started in Week 3 and scored a whopping 4 points, had 27 on the bench this week). "ESPN's automated bullshit will be picking my starting lineups for the rest of the season, since I have proven incapable of doing it correctly so far," said owner Ron Hender. "I've been doing that all season," said Band Aids owner Bob Garcia. "What took you so long?"