Recliners stun Packers

Invaiders and Band Aids win again; only two games are up for grabs tonight as Bears face Seahawks on Monday Night Football

Brock Bowers showed why he was worthy of a rare second-round draft pick for a TE on Sunday, scoring two TDs and 21 points to lift the Recliners to an upset win over the Packers.

It's not often when a team's quarterback scores negative points. It's even more rare when that team manages to win despite it.

But that happened yesterday, as the Recliners (3-5) somehow survived the Ravens QB fiasco to post an upset win over the Packers (5-3). The fiasco, summarized: Lamar Jackson returned from a three-game absence (ankle), lasted one play before injuring his thumb and is out for the season. His backup, Tyler Huntley, made it into the second quarter before he exited with a toe injury (the same kind of injury sidelined Brock Purdy (Go Niners!) for seven games last season). The Ravens finished with Joe Fagnano (WHO?) at quarterback and lost to the Bills 36-10. OK, so the Recliners will have to go with Pat Mahomes at QB from now on. Big deal. There are worse options (Fagnano).

But Chris Zimnoch did not let a -1 from his QB slow him down. Nor a donut from his usually reliable WR Zay Flowers. TE Brock Bowers scores two TDs and scored 21. WR Ja'Marr Chase had a TD and 20. RB Josh Jacobs, whom Zimnoch sat on for six weeks like a hen tying to hatch an egg while he was on the naughty list, scored two TDs and 16 points. Those three were the only Recliners in double figures in an 84-81 upset.

ESPN still though Jeff Lambert's Packers would pull this one out midway through the Sunday night game between the Commanders and the Eagles, as the Pack had QB Jayden Daniels going against the struggling Eagles defense, and he had eight points in the bank midway through the second quarter and was expected to finish with 20. That would have given the Pack a three-point win... but Daniels scored only six more points the rest of the way, finished with 14, and the Recliners held on for the win. Four other Packers scored in double figures in the loss, led by RB James Cook (16). WR Matthew Golden had 13, K Chase McLaughlin 12 and RB Kyren Williams 11.

In the two other games that are in the books, things went as expected.

The Invaiders improved to 5-3 (a record that would be good enough for a third-place tie in the Shit Talkers Division) and extended their Shitty Division lead to two games with a 96-63 win over the Rangers (3-5). QB Trevor Lawrence, RB Braelon Allen and the Jags Defense each posted 20 points for the Invaiders, who also got 13 from TE Trey McBride. RB Bucky Irving's 22 points led the Rangers.

The Band Aids (6-2) moved into sole possession of second place in the ST Division after blowing out winless WTNE (0-7). QB Josh Allen and RB Tony Pollard both had 25 to lead the Band Aids, who had six guys score in double figures. QB Dak Prescott had 19 and RB Saquon Barkley had 11 for WTNE. Barkley, one of the team's tradeable assets, is gimpy with hamstring and back problems but is still worthy of a draft pick if Jordan Garcia wants to go that direction, since he can protect WR Justin Jefferson again if he wants. Or maybe he'd move Jefferson or WR Drake London? Who knows.

In the two renmaining two games, ESPN has decided they are over and done with.

ESPN says the Gerbils have a 97% chance that they'll hold on for a victory over Who Dey. Chuck Nelson's Gerbs look to improve to 7-1 and lead Who Dey 103-60. Matty McCumber stiill has three quys going tonight, however, hence the 3% chance of an amazing comeback ("So you're saying there's a chance..."). Matty has RB D'Andre Swift, WR Jaxson Smith-Njigba and TE Colston Loveland still to play, and we all know that Smith-Njigba is capable of a 30-point game, Swift has scored 20 points before and Loveland has 12 in each of his last two games (that totals 62 and a Who Dey win, BTW).

ESPN also says the Tirades have a 99% chance of rallying to a come-from-behind win over the Spread Beaters tonight, but I don't belive that shit for one second. ESPN has also thought the Tirades would be 6-1 right now, and they're lucky to be 3-4. The Beaters, looking to improve to 3-5, lead 79-78 and have the Bears denese going (expected to score 6). The Tirades. hoping to claw their way back to .500 at the midway point of the season, have QB Caleb Williams AND the Seattle Defense going, which you would think would cancel each other out. To be honest, the Tirades are hopinhg that Williams runs for a score, throws a couple TD passes and a couple interceptions, one of which goes for a pick-six as the Bears hold on for a 28-27 win (Go Niners!).

Complete recap and injury update will come late tomorrow, as yours truly is working a 14-hour shift at a local voting precinct (unless Vern steps up and does it earlier).