Rangers, WTNE remain unbeaten, Tirades rebound

And WTNE takes the Spread Beaters to the woodshed in a stunning upset

Yes, the Rangers are for real and we'd better get used to it. John Lambert's quest for his first JSFL title is hitting fourth gear and he's looking for the cruise control button as his Rangers lead the Silent Division after Week 3. Jordan Garcia's WTNE also kept pace with an upset win over the Beaters, and all eyes are now on a Week 6 showdown between the Silent Division co-leaders.

In the other division, the Tirades got back on track with a convincing win over the now-winless Packers, improving to 2-1 and sharing the Shit Talkers lead with the upstart newcomers, Who Dey, who stunned the heavily favored Invaiders.

Here's a look at the Week 3 results.

RANGERS 94, BAND AIDS 83: John Lambert finally started the Pittsburgh defense! Wow! Too bad they were outscored 12-8 by his benched Buffalo D. Oh well, John. You can't always predict the future, but you didn't need much clairvoyance in this one. RB Kyren Williams, the only Rams offensive player under 36 years old that has a pulse, scored a team-high 28 and TE Dallas Goedert rose from the dead to score 17 more as the Rangers remained unbeaten (3-0). Bob Garcia's Band Aids got 25 from Lamar Jackson and 22 from (no kidding!) RB Chuba Hubbard but not much else. RB Breece Hall had 13 and QB Jalen Hurts 11 for the Rangers (3-0). Keeper WR Amon-Ra St. Brown had 13 for the Band Aids. On the Bench: Bob's only help here would have been Terry "Some Scorin'" McLaurin's 16 points. Had John started his other former-Raiders WR Amari Cooper and QB Aaron Rodgers, he'd have won by 36 instead of 11.

WTNE 107, SPREAD BEATERS 87: Jordan Garcia got 24 from QB Joe Burrow on Monday night to rally and win this one easily and improved to 3-0. RB Saquon Barkley added 28 more, WR Rashee Rice had 17 and Alvin Kamara added 12. The Beaters got a game-high 29 points from Derrick Henry but only two others scored in double figures -- WR DK Metcalf with 16 and QB Kyler Murray had 14. On the Bench: The Beaters could have used Chris Godwin's 12 over Tyreek "I Wish I Had Tua Back"Hill's 4 points and the Seachickens Defense (13) instead of the Chargers (4) but still would have lost. Jordan would have gained 3 points with Jaden Daniels at QB.

TIRADES 98, PACKERS 81: Yes, the unbelievable has come to pass. The Packers are off to an 0-3 start. Only a 23-point explosion on Monday night by keeper WR Ja'Marr Chase kept this one from being a total blowout. The Tirades, despite a double-donut from WRs Calvin Ridley and Rashid Shaheed, bounced back from a loss against the unbeaten Rangers last week to improve to 2-1. Leading the way was former Packers QB Josh Allen, who had his second 30-point game in three weeks. Again, the Tirades running backs were significant: Aaron Jones scored 20, David Montgomery had 17 and Jordan Mason 7. Kicker Harrison Butker added 12. RB Devin Singletary had 15 for the Pack. On the Bench: No help for the Packers there, and of the four active Tirades on the pine, only Michael Pittman's paltry 3-point effort was better than either starter.

WHO DEY 92, INVAIDERS 81: If you'd have asked Vern Ahrendes if he'd be happy with 26 points from QB Brock Purdy and 25 more from RB Jonathan Taylor, he'd have responded with a resounding "yep." Unfortunately for Vern, the rest of the team took the week off. Kicker Brandon Aubrey (11) was the only other guy in double figures as the Invaiders, 12-point favorites, dropped to 1-2 with the loss to Who Dey. Matt McCumber's upstarts got 21 from the Packers defense and a bunch of guys who scored 11 or 14, such as RB Zach Moss and WRs Chris Olave and Justin Jefferson. On the Bench: QB Malik Willis would have given Who Dey a 14-point boost. Malik Naybers (19) outscored both Invaiders starting WRs combined (they got 9, which is still 9 more than the Tirades starters). Dak Prescott would have outscored Purdy by 3, but he's a fucking Cowboy so who gives a shit.

RECLINERS 81, GERBILS 62: Waiver-wire pickup (and Tirades castoff) Zach Charbonnet led the Recliners with 22 points in a sleepwalk win over the hibernating Gerbils. Marvin Harrison Jr. had his second double-digit scoring game in a row, this time with 12. Jahmyr Gibbs led the slumbering Gerbs with 16. On the Bench: Not enough help here to make a difference for the Gerbils, and besides -- who starts Sam Darnold over Pat Mahomes? Not me. The Jets defense (16) and QB Caleb Williams (17) would have added 22 points for the Recliners.