Rangers, Band Aids make a statement

John Lambert's team returns to winning ways and leads Silent Division, Bob Garcia's moves lead to a cyclone of points and the lead in recently renamed Shitty Teams Division

TE Tucker Kraft (right) was just one of Bob Garcia's brilliant free agent pickups last week.

When the Rangers erupt with a triple-digit victory, this year we are not surprised. They have one of the top teams in the league and are expected to contend for a JSFL title for the first time in franchise history, and this week's 138-105 win over Who Dey improved the team to 4-1 on the season and sole possession of first place in the Silent Division.

When the Band Aids score a franchise record 144 points, it IS a surprise. And they've taken the lead in the newly renamed Shitty Teams Division with a 3-2 record as a result after a 144-93 win over the Packers.

And let's not forget the Gerbils, who throttled the Tirades to help break open a three-way logjam at the top of the Shitty Teams Division.

Here's a look at Week 5 in the JSFL.

BAND AIDS 144, PACKERS 93: Want a seminar in finding gold nuggets in the Free Agent stream? Just look at what Bob pulled off last Tuesday morning. He dumped fumbling Chiefs RB Carson Steele (1 point) and grabbed his replacement, Kareem "Remember Me?" Hunt, who scored 17. Ka-ching. He dumped the Colts defense (-3) and picked up the Broncos (15). Ka-ching. And the piece de resistance? He dropped a functional TE (Isaiah Likely, 13 points last weekend) and took a flyer on Green Bay's Tucker Kraft, who exploded for 20 points against the Rams. Ka-ching, ka-ching, ka-ching. I haven't even mentioned the Band Aids high scorer, QB Lamar Jackson, who poured 33 more points onto the fire. Oh, and I left out one more free agent pickup (yes, that was four in one week!): Tirades and Invaiders castoff Stefon Diggs, who scored 8 and was the ONLY starter that did not score in double figures for Bob. Oh, and Diggs replaced Juwan Jennings (1 point). The Packers, who lost their fifth straight to open a season for only the second time in franchise history, got 31 from keeper Ja'Marr Chase and 27 more from QB Anthony Richardson but no other starter reached double figures. On the Bench: Nothing to see here. Move along.

RANGERS 138, WHO DEY 105: Matty, what can we say? You'd have beaten seven of the other teams in the league last week. Unfortunately you ran into the buzzsaw known as the Rangers. Atlanta's city motto is "Resurgence" so it was appropriate that Falcons QB Kirk Cousins, maligned after a mediocre start in 2024, erupted last Thursday against the Buccaneers to the tune of 34 points. And remember WR DJ Moore? The guy who used to be Carolina's best WR? Yeah, him. He's now in Chicago and rookie QB Caleb Williams finally realized it as Moore came through with 22 points. His fellow WRs Mike Evans (18) and Nico Collins (13 before a concussion) were among the seven starters who scored in double figures for John. Who Dey was hoping for an explosive Monday night effort from WR Chris Olave for a miraculous comeback win, but Olave only managed 1 point against the Chiefs. Matty got 22 from QB Geno Smith, a combined 33 from RBs D'Andre Swift and James Cook and 16 each from his kicker (Texans) and defense (Vikings). On the Bench: Again, nothing to see here.

GERBILS 101, TIRADES 59: The wide receivers also led the way as Chuck Nelson's team throttled the Tirades. Drake London had 21, Tee Higgins 20 and Rasheed Shahid 14 more from the Flex as the Gerbils cruised to the victory, improving to 2-3 and remaining a game back of the division lead. RB Josh Jacobs added 15 and QB Pat Mahomes 14 on Monday night for the Gerbils. The hapless Tirades, predicted to be the league's top team after the draft, continued their free fall into mediocrity (and a 2-3 record) and are now ranked 7th. Blame can be spread everywhere, but QB Josh Allen had his third single-digit game of the season, so he's not helping. Deebo Samuel and free-agent pickup WR Dontayvion Wicks combined for three lousy points. The good news for the Tirades? There was a Kyle Pitts sighting (he scored 8), one free agent pickup paid off -- WR Brian Thomas Jr. led the team with 18. And soon the team will have RB Christian McCaffrey, RB Nick Chubb and TE TJ Hockenson back. On the Bench: The Gerbils could have kept piling on with TE Brock Bowers (15) in the lineup over Dalton Kincaid (3), but that was it. K Harrison Butker's 14 Monday night points would have been better than the 8 from injured 49ers K Jake Moody.

SPREAD BEATERS 88, INVAIDERS 75: And now for the boring games. Matt Pringle got the best of Vern Ahrendes in this Silent Division clash of the titans. The Beaters were led by kicker Younghoe Koo and QB Justin Fields, both with 16 points. RB Derrick Henry's "off days" will still result in 15 points as they did this week, and fellow RB Brian Robinson Jr. added 13 more. As the 49ers go (or don't), so don't the Invaiders. QB Brock Purdy had a horrible second half against the Cardinals and ended up with 12. Good and bad news from his 49ers WRs. Good? Brandon Aiyuk broke out for his biggest game of 2024 with 14, but Jauan Jennings only had 1. Free-agent pickup RB Trey Sermon has 11, but Najee Harris only managed 7. On the Bench: It would not have given him a win, and losing by one point would probably have been worse, but Vern could have gone with QB Dak Prescott (outscored Purdy by 5) and RB Rhamondre Stevenson (outscored Harris by 7) and lost 88-87. Pringle's only bench improvement would also have been at QB with Kyler Murray scoring 23 (+7).

RECLINERS 74, WTNE 64: Chris Zimnoch also got a WR back from the dead last weekend. Top draft pick Garrett Wilson scored in double-digits for the first time in 2024 with 16 and QB CJ Stroud also came through with 16 for the Recliners and RB Javonte Williams added 11 in the victory over WTNE. Jordan Garcia's offense was limited to QB Jayden Daniels (19) and free agent pickup RB Cam Akers (11). On the Bench: Had Jordan gone with Joe Burrow at QB (over Daniels? Not realistic) he'd have won this one. Burrow had 33. Chris could have also improved with his backup QB Caleb Williams (23 points).