Invaiders thrust into the spotlight, again, for no good reason

Sure, Vern Ahrendes' team has the best record in the league. Sure, he's playing a team in the second division in the Rangers (I'd apologize to John, but what are the odds he's even reading this?). Sure, we're predicting a landslide win.

Invaiders QB Kyler Murray can't believe he just threw an interception to end the game in a loss to Green Bay (and knock his weekly scoring total below 10 for the first time this season).

The JSFL Today prediction team sees were it has all gone wrong. If you want A to happen, predict B. It's simple statistics and also Murphy's Law. Just flipped.

So we're all in this week on the Invaiders, even though their QB laid a big rotten egg on the big Thursday night stage against Green Bay (would that be a Big Green (Bay) Egg? I should use that in some kind of marketing strategy... I think it could catch on). Here's a quick look at this weekend's matchups in the JSFL.

Rangers (-4) vs Invaiders: So what if Kyler Murray scored only 8 points (instead of 28)? So what if Cooper Kupp pulls a hamstring against Houston's seive-like defense and gets shut out? Who cares if kicker Matt Gay suddenly gets the shanks? No one, I tell you. The Invaiders will win (and win big) anyway. That's just the way it is going in 2021. Get the f--- out of Vern's way and do not expect an "excuse me" as he knocks you ass-over-teakettle. Austin Eckeler is questionable? Ha! He'll score 26. Elijah Mitchell is not really a lead back in San Francisco? Tisk, tisk. He'll punch in two TDs. Kupp doesn't score 20? Take that: Calvin Ridley will. The Rangers, 2-5 coming in to this one, are up against the ropes and rope-a-dope won't help here. Neither will a backfield of Chumba "Wumba" Hubbard and Melvin Gordon III, unless the 2018 version of Gordon suddenly appears. And even then.... Invaiders by 20.

Pillows (even) vs Band Aids: The defending champs opened the season with five consecutive losses but have bounced back with a pair of wins and are looking for a third straight against the struggling Band Aids. Bob Garcia's team was betting big on a supposed passing-dominated scoring blowout on Thursday night and that didn't happen. His QB (Aaron Rodgers) won the game but only scored 15 on the way. He did get 14 from RB James Conner and 4 from TE Zach Ertz but still has yet to see what Huey's battering ram of a backfield (Derrick Henry and D'Andre Swift) will do. Still, despite the obvious signs pointing the other way, Band Aids by 6.

Saddles (-15) vs Gerbils: Why even bother with this one, the outcome is so clear? The Saddles have a huge advantage against the walking wounded (or is it walking dead?) that is Chuck Nelson's team. The treatment room at the Gerbils home stadium, the Habitrail Dome, is completely full, no further applicants need apply. He's stuck starting the Bears fifth-string RB (Khalil Herbert) alongside Zach Moss, whose point-scoring is trending toward #Zero. He does have WR Amari Cooper, who might score in double digits, but his other starting wideout, AJ Green, could only manage 5 on Thursday night. Blame Kyler Murray (and while you're at it blame Vern. just.... because). The Gerbils will get ridden hard this week and put up wet. Saddles by 24.

Packers (-8) vs Recliners: Jeff Lambert got off to a solid start in this one when Aaron Jones ran for 16 points on Thursday. He's got QB Josh Allen going against the Miami defense, Deebo Samuel scoring in double digits on a consistent basis and Chris Godwin poised for a big game with Antonio Brown out in Tampa Bay. The Bengals defense has been a huge surprise. Chris Zimnoch hopes to counter with his usual suspects at RB: Zeke and Joe "This IS My Year, Dammit!" Mixon. He has Justin Hebert at QB. But things go downhill from there. At WR, DaVonta Smith gets a start across from Julio Jones. Neither has posed a big scoring threat: between the two, there have been only three double-digit scoring games so far. Packers by 16.

Tirades (-7) vs Beaters: We've saved the worst for last. The Tirades, who many predicted to have a shot at the title even before the draft (thanks to the accumulation of draft picks and a semi-shrewd draft day trade) have managed to prove their critics correct so far in 2021. After a pretty decent start the team is now 4-3 and headed downward after a pair of losses and sub-optimal scoring efforts. With owner Matt Pringle galavanting around Europe, his Spread Beaters have been looking unbeatable and if Nick Chubb is back and even close to 100% this weekend it will be a long, painful Sunday for the Tirades. Beaters by 29.