Invaiders take down WTNE, Band Aids only unbeaten team

Bob Garcia's Band Aids roll to 4-0, Jordan takes first loss, Beaters roll with season-high 135 point explosion and Blayze surprises with another win.

Running back De’Von Achane, picked up off the Free Agent pile last week to make the RB-rich Beaters even richer, was then left on bench. He scored 23.

Break up the Band Aids. They're the remaining unbeaten team in the JSFL after blowing out their ST-division "rival" Tirades last weekend. Those are air quotes around rival, since the Tirades are not putting fear into anyone this season. But right behind the 4-0 Band Aids are the 3-1 Blazing Saddles, who edged the Recliners to keep a game off the pace. Pretty good for a team picked to finish last, eh Blayze Hanson?

Over in the Silent Division, things are thisclose. WTNE loses to Vern Ahrendes' inconsistent Invalids and fall to 3-1. Everyone else in the division is 2-2, but watch out for Matt Pringle's Spread Beaters, who put up the most points of any team in the first month of the season in a win over the Packers and appear to have the depth and the firepower (except, as Matt admits, at QB) of any team in the league.

But first, let's take a look at the Swami's prediction record last weekend. He was 2-3 for the weekend, getting the easy ones correct (no one was looking for anything different as the Band Aids and Rangers faced the two worst teams) and totally blew it with the rest of the schedule, including his own team's win (see Lou Holtz Syndrome). For the season, the Swami is 11-9 but that is inflated by a perfect week one.

We won't steal any of Swami's thunder going into the weekend other than to say that the Battle at the Bottom (0-4 Gerbils against 1-3 Tirades) will put the loser into the driver's seat toward the top pick in the 2024 draft ... a position that Pringle will be happy to claim that he's never experienced. Speaking of Pringle...

BEATERS 135, PACKERS 107: Sure, it seems wrong that the Beaters are able to pick up someone like De'Von Achane off the Free Agent pile when they already has a RB stable of Derrick Henry, D'Andre Swift, Brian Robinson and Isiah Pacheco. Is it time for a waiver wire, folks? Some of us have "jobs" and have to do "work" on Tuesdays and might be in meetings when the window opens at 1 p.m. PDT so they can't sit there watching the clock on time.is. And did Matt even use the new guy? Hell no. Achane scored his 23 riding the pine, meat. But while Matt is trying to corner the market on marketable running backs, he is obviously stockpiling in order to do something about his one gaping lineup hole at QB. While the end of last season made Justin Fields look like a good bet on draft day, his play in 2023 has been suspect so far. Sure, he put up 28 last week to go with 29 from WR AJ Brown, 23 from Henry and 20 more from the Jaguars defense. But in the three previous games the Chicago QB posted scores of 14-14-9. Those are not QB efforts that championship teams are made of. Note to rest of league: Don't trade him a QB, even if you need a RB. We don't need to worry about the Pack trading Josh Allen, I think: he led his team with 35 points in this defeat.

BAND AIDS 111, TIRADES 89: Sure, if Tirades owner had been a millisecond quicker last Tuesday, he'd have grabbed Achane instead of the Beaters, who'd have been in the lineup instead of on an opposing bench, and the Tirades could have won this battle. But that didn't happen, Tirades WR Deebo Samuel did not get a single point and the Band Aids cruised to a perfect start on the season. It was a week that Bob was primed for an upset loss, too: Pat Mahomes struggled on Monday night against a tough Jets defense, was picked off twice and scored a season-low 13. Free-agent pickup WR Puka Nacua (23) and keeper TE Mark Andrews (20) helped overcome Mahomes' struggles, along with 27 points from RB tandem Bijan Robinson and Kenneth Walker III.

INVALIDS 111, WTNE 100: I figure we can keep calling them the Invalids until they win back-to-back games. Vern's team bounced back to knock off Jordan's previously unbeaten team thanks to primarily to former Tirades WR Stefon Diggs (three TDs, 30 points) and the Cowboys defense, which looked like a sieve two weeks ago but was an impenetrable wall (27 points) last weekend. WTNE was led by Christian McCaffrey (4 TDs, 41 points, and we all know whose team he should have been on).

SADDLES 95, RECLINERS 86: Blayze has been in stealth mode since Week 1. Predicted to finish dead last, he suckered the league into thinking he'd thrown in the towel at halftime of his first game, trading a red-hot (in Week 1) Calvin Ridley for -- get this -- a first-round draft pick in 2024. After Blayze was done picking Jordan's pocket, he then quietly won his next three in a row, including last weekend over Chris Zimnoch's Recliners. RB David Montgomery led the way with 32 and while QB Jordan Love did not have the late-game success he had in Week 3, he did manage 17 points this week in an otherwise disappointing loss to the Lions. The Seachickens defense (30) kept the Recliners close.

RANGERS 78, GERBILS 46: Swami was right about this one. It was a stinker. Justin Jefferson had 20 and Jalen Hurts 23 to lead the Rangers to a 2-2 record. Najee Harris (11) and K Harrison Butker (10) were the only Gerbils to reach double-figures.