Invaiders reach triple digits in a weekend of upsets

Vern Ahrendes' team knocks off the Rangers, while Who Dey and WTNE also score surprising victories

Ceedee Lamb was left completely uncovered in the end zone twice by the 49ers on Sunday and scored two TDs as a result, leading the Invaiders to a shocking win over the Rangers.

Well, that was an exciting weekend. From the Invaiders shocking 122-point output to a successful Hail Mary pass in the Commanders-Bears game, it was a thrill a minute. Unless you were the Tirades and Packers, that is. It wasn't as much fun for them, and they could not take any solace and get some diversion from the World Series, either, since the f---ing Dodgers are winning every game there. But I digress...

The Division races changed a little. The Rangers loss to the Invaiders puts them a game back of the Silent lead at 5-2, trailing the Recliners (who won yet again). The rest of the division is 4-4 so technically still in it, but.... well, not really but maybe sort of.

Bob Garcia's Band Aids continue to lead the Shitty Teams Division despite losing to WTNE and dropping to 5-3 and also despite the fact that Garcia doesn't even think his team should be in first. "I had no draft picks, this was supposed to be a rebuilding year," he said. "How the hell am I in first? I don't have the horses to compete. Are the rest of you guys in this division just idiots or what?"

Yes, I think you have it there, Bob. The Tirades could (should?) have moved into a tie for first but started questionable Jordan Mason at RB for the second straight week, and for the second straight week he did almost nothing before he left the game with one injury or another. The Ravens defense, averaging 6+ points a game, went up against the league laughingstock Cleveland Browns and scored ZERO points. The end result? One point total from two of the team's nine starting positions and a 9-point loss to the Spread Beaters.

Commissioner Jeff Lambert's Packers dropped to 0-8 in a 10-point loss to the Recliners, mainly because he left Matt Stafford (25) on the bench for Anthony Richardson (12).

The Gerbils lost to Who Dey by 17 but didn't really make any stupid lineup decisions to cost them a victory, but I'll blame Chuck for not making better lineup moves on Tuesday that could have given him a victory, even though I don't know what those moves would have been. So there. Here's a week 8 recap.

INVAIDERS 122, RANGERS 104: Vern can't remember the last time his team scored 122 points in a game. Hell, he can't remember a player scoring two TDs in a game this season. Both happened last weekend as the Invaiders shocked the world with a win over the Silent Division leading Rangers. WR Ceedee Lamb led the way with a 26-point, two touchdown effort against the 49ers, a bulk of those points coming after the game was decided and the 49ers apparently decided to ignore him completely inside the Red Zone. Earlier in that same NFL game, Invaiders QB Brock Purdy (25 points) went off in the third quarter, throwing three TD passes as the 49ers basically put the game away. Add in another 19 points (and two more TDs!) from RB Rhamondre Stevenson and you have the makings for this upset. John Lambert's Rangers, unaccustomed to this kind of scoring from opponents (only the 6-1 Recliners had fewer points scored against them going into the weekend), just didn't have the firepower to keep up with the upstart Invaiders, although QB Jalen Hurts did everything in his power to try. Hurts scored 34 points, running for three TDs and throwing for another. George Kittle scored 18 on National Tight Ends Day and Kyren Williams added his usual 18 points for the losing Rangers.

WHO DEY 116, GERBILS 99: RB James Cook ran roughshod over the Dolphins and his 25 points (136 total yards, two TDs) led Matt McCumber's team to the win. D'Andre Swift ran for 18 points and Matty got 14 each from RB Raheem Mostert (welcome back, former 49er) and QB Jordan Love. David Njoku (TE Day!) and kicker Jake Bates each had 12. Chuck Nelson got 24 from RB Josh Jacobs, 18 more from RB Jamyr Gibbs and 17 from QB Sam Darnold.

BEATERS 101, TIRADES 94: We've already established how the Tirades lost this one. Let's look at how defending two-time champion Matt Pringle won it. First and foremost, kicker Younghoe Koo (6 points) was the low scorer for Pringle's team. QB Kyler Murray's 21 points was the high. In between were Travis Kelce's 15 (TE Day!), 25 combined from RBs Derrick Henry and JK Dobbins and 11 from WR Cooper Fucking Cupp in his return to action. Kyle Pitts led the Tirades with 21 points (TE Day!).

WTNE 97, BAND AIDS 93: All but two of Jordan Garcia's starters scored in double figures, and one of those was WR Xavier Worthy, but it was his late TD reception in the Raiders-Chiefs game that decided both the NFL outcome and this one. Worthy, who was a non-factor for most of the game, finished with 9 points with his late TD catch gave WTNE the win over Bob Garcia and the Band Aids. The Lions defense led WTNE in scoring with 16 and Trey McBride (TE Day!) added 12, along with QB Joe Burrow. QB Lamar Jackson led the Band Aids with 23.

RECLINERS 97, PACKERS 87: Chris Zimnoch's team took sole possession of first place in the Silent Division with this win, and Jeff's team suffered the indignity of an 8th consecutive loss to start the season (when will it end?!?!). RB Joe Mixon led the way with 19 points as the core of the Recliners lineup (QB, RBs, WR and TE) all scored in double figures, including Sam LaPorta with 10 (TE Day!). WR Marvin Harrison Jr. had 17 points and RB Bijan Robinson 16. RB De'Von Achane led the Packers with 20 and WR Darnell Mooney added 14.