Invaiders claim their battle with Beaters is Game of the Week; rest of the league not so sure

Possible early return of Christian McCaffrey is music to Gerbils' ears; Tirades TE Gronk may play despite broken ribs

We all know that Vern Ahrendes and his Invaiders placement in the Silent Division was a huge, glaring mistake. He's the league's least silent owner and this week was no exception, as he e-mailed the JSFL Today's editorial staff early on to lobby for his team's matchup with Matt Pringles' Spread Beaters should be the league's premier game in Week 5. He's not completely off base here, either. Both teams are 3-1 and atop the division, so there is that angle.

But the 1-3 Gerbils are hoping for a miracle in the return of keeper RB Christian McCaffrey, who left the game in Week 3 with a hamstring injury that was supposed to sideline him for up to eight weeks. Maybe not... he's missed 1.5 games and has been practicing this week and will be a game-time decision, so his backup Chumba "Wumba" Hubbard (Tirades pickup) could be rendered useless. The Gerbils will need McCaffrey, as they are double-digit underdogs this week against the Tirades (3-1), one of the ST Division leaders. In other action, the Packers, also 3-1 in the ST Division, take on the struggling Band Aids (1-3), the Recliners face the winless defending champ Pillow Biters in the other Silent Division game and the Saddles take on the Rangers in an inter-division clash.

And don't forget, there is a game tonight that should affect many lineups (Rams vs. Seahawks) and also an early game from London on Sunday at 9:30 a.m. EDT (Falcons vs. Jets).

Beaters (-4) vs. Invaiders: This should be a battle of the young quarterbacks as back-flipping Lamar Jackson leads the Beaters against Kyler Murray and the Invaiders, who think every matchup they play in is the game of the week. The Beaters have the advantage because they don't have to rely on the output of Leonard Fournette, who sometimes disappears in the Bucs offensive game plan. Beaters battering ram RBs Nick Chubb and resurgent Saquon Barkley don't suffer from that problem, and they also have Mike Evans and Stefon Diggs at WR... if Fournette isn't seeing much attention, that means Evans probably is (and vice-versa). Vern is putting his hopes on receivers Davonte Adams and Cooper Kupp, hoping this will be an "all" week instead of a "nothing" one. Same goes for RB Austin Eckler. Beaters by 3.

Tirades (-13) vs. Gerbils: Chuck Nelson is hoping that McCaffrey is going to return, as this game becomes a lot more interesting if he does. If he doesn't, it really benefits the Tirades, who can insert McCaffrey's replacement into their lineup. At the moment, the Gerbils are starting Chris Carson (who plays tonight) and Chase Edmonds (who plays an afternoon game against the 49ers). Both those guys are questionable, though, but he does have the flexibility to start McCaffrey instead of Edmonds as the Panthers play the Eagles in an early game on Sunday. The alternative could be very, very bad though... it's possible the Gerbils have only one healthy RB in Zach Moss of Buffalo. The Tirades will need to watch RB Dalvin Cook's status (Clyde Edwards-Helaire is waiting on the bench) and TE Rob Gronkowski might play despite a broken rib, but since his backup Logan Thomas went on the IR after a hamstring injury last weekend, the Tirades have picked up Juwan Johnson (3 TDs this season) as Gronk insurance. Tirades by 10 unless McCaffrey plays, then Tirades by 1.

Recliners (-1) vs. Pillows: Is this the week the defending champs get into the win column? Or do they drop to 0-5 and officially start the fire sale? Derrick Henry has been his expected awesome self for Matt Huey's team but he has not had much constistency from anyone else, especially his QBs (Baker Mayfield and Jameis Winston). The Recliners are hoping that Tom Brady bounces back from a 10-point week against his former team with a big day against the cross-state rival Dolphins, and they get continued production from RBs Ezekiel Elliott, but the first sign of things returning to normal have appeared for RB Joe "I'm Having a Great Year, Suckers!" Mixon, who might be sidelined with an injury. Recliners by 4.

Packers (even) vs. Band Aids: Bob Garcia picked up James Conner after he scored ro TDs for Arizona last week, hoping he'll spark some offense and get his team off the 1-3 schnide. The Band Aids should get some points from Aaron Rodgers (at Cincy) and maybe there will be an Alvin Kamara sighting this week. The Pack counter with a sometimes explosive offense: QB Josh Allen, when he's on, is a points machine; so is Aaron Jones when he gets the opportunity to run. The question mark in this one is will Damien Williams, who is replacing injured RB David Montgomery in Chicago, going to put up points like Montgomery did. Packers by 5.

Rangers (-1) vs. Saddles: This one is kind of the boring game of the week. Both teams are 2-2 and fighting to remain in the hunt, but we're only in Week 5 so will a loss really be that devastating? Not really. The Rangers continue to ride the wave of the Chargers QB and Tyreek "TD" Hill, who scored like 300 points last week. The Saddles have benched their top two RBs, keeper Jonathan Taylor and Najee Harris, in favor of Invaiders castoff James Robinson (great pickup, thanks Vern) and some clown named Henderson. Saddles by 3.