How 'bout those Gerbils?

It's been a long, long time since we've had to worry about what would happen if Chuck Nelson's team was relevant. Well, gentlemen, we're there.

Pat Mahomes hasn't been a Top-3 quarterback in years. It looks like he, and the Gerbils, are back on top after a 26-point effort last weekend that liftec Chuck Nelson's team to the top of the ST Division standings.

How long, you ask? Well I'll tell you. Five long years. It was 2020, the Covid-19 Pandemic was raging. We didn't (yet) have a vaccine. But the Gerbils, who finished third in the division, made the playoffs in the last week of the regular season, stunned Blazing Saddles in the first round 121-103 and then suffered a complete and total collapse in the final, losing to the late Matt Huey's Pillow Biters 105-70.

The Gerbs won nine games in the regular season that year. They are already a third of the way there this season after thumping the winless Rangers and lead the Shit Talkers Division with a 3-1 record.

Last-week's Cinderella team, the Packers, were slapped down by the unbeaten Spread Beaters and dropped a game behind the Gerbils. Jeff Lambert's team also lost two players to injury in the process, see below. The Beaters (4-0) are holding onto a slim advantage over the Recliners (3-1) and WTNE (3-1), both winners in Week 4 action, atop the Silent Division.

Injury news from the weekend's action: It was not a great weekend for elite receivers. Tyreek Hill (Packers) went down with a knee injury on Monday night and is gone for the year. Also out for the season is Malik Naybers (WTNE) after he tore an ACL in the third quarter on Sunday. QB Lamar Jackson (Packers) pulled a hammy in the Ravens' loss to KC, but may not need a trip to the IR. RB Braylon Allen (Who Dey) will miss several weeks with an MCL sprain.

SWAMI UPDATE

It was a bounce-back week for The Swami, who went 4-1 after a losing effort in Week 3 (2-3). Swami is now 15-5 on the season.

WEEK 4 RESULTS

BEATERS 127, PACKERS 111: It was only a matter of time before his rookie RB draft haul would end up paying off for Matt Pringle, and this was the week: Ashton Jeanty went nuts against the Bears with 31 points and Omarion Hampton had 21 against the Giants as the Beaters (4-0) remained unbeaten. Pringle won despite having Marcus Mariota (Commanders, 16 points) at QB. Amon-Ra St. Brown added 19, D'Andre Swift had 11 and the Denver defense 10. The Packers, who got 12 from the injured Jackson and Ravens' backup QB (I won't even bother to look up who that is/was), got 25 from WR George Pickens (thanks to CeeDee Lamb's injury), 19 from Christian McCaffrey (Go 49ers!) and 18 from James Cook. Also worth noting: The Pack are tied for the league scoring lead (420 points), averaging 105 per game, and are a .500 team.

GERBILS 125, RANGERS 102: The Gerbils (3-1) are resurgent because they gambled on players that have had a return to greatness as well. Take QB Pat Mahomes for example. Despite annual Super Bowl appearances, his Fantasy value has dipped the past three seasons, but he's back with a vengeance in 2025 and scored 26 last week. Mahomes has posted 20+ points in three of his four games this year. RB Travis Etienne Jr. struggled in 2024 after posting back-to-back 1,000-yard seasons the two years prior, but he also looks back in previous form and scored 18 last week. He's scored in double figures every game this season. And if Chuck had bothered to sub in RB TreVeyon Henderson (10) for injured Jaylen Warren (0) he'd have posted the highest score of the young season. Meanwhile, John Lambert's Rangers (0-4) got 24 from his backup QB pick (Josh Allen) and 27 more from his other Josh (RB Jacobs) but not a lot else.

RECLINERS 120, WHO DEY 87: When six of your nine starters outperform expectations, you're on your way to a win and that's the case here with Chris Zimnoch's Recliners (3-1). Tied with the Packers for the league's highest scoring team (420 points), the Recliners got 27 from Matt Stafford (predicted for 15), 23 from RB Bijan Robinson (14), 23 from WR Puka Nacua (13) and 18 from WR DK Metcalf (8). Matt McCumber's Who Dey (0-4) had three players in double figures, led by QB Jordan Love's 26 and 21 from RB Bucky Irving.

TIRADES 85, BAND AIDS 61: This one went as expected. The Tirades (2-2) got 18 in a less-than-stellar effort from QB Brock Purdy (Go, Turf Toe!) and a combined 31 from WRs Quentin Johnston and Emeka Egbuka as they cruised to the win over Bob Garcia's squad (1-3). RB Jonathan Taylor, who had scored 56 in the previous two games, could only muster 9 against the Rams defense and keeper Ja'Marr Chase (3) looks lost without Joe Burrow at QB. The Band Aids were led by RB Javonte Williams (15).

WTNE 83, INVAIDERS 73: Jordan Garcia's team had an off week but managed to keep pace in the highly competitive Silent Division with this win. WTNE (3-1) got 17 from RB Quinshon Judkins' coming-out party in Cleveland and a surprise Garrett Wilson (14) sighting on Monday night. RB Saquon Barkley (13) continued his mediocre start and QB Justin Herbert (12) struggled for the first time this season. It was a disappointing loss for Vern Ahrendes, who saw a big chance at disrupting things in the Silent Division fall by the wayside. Other than a late surge by QB Justin Fields (28 points), the rest of the Invaiders (2-2) must have been out playing golf or something as only RB Kenneth Walker III (10 points) cracked double figures.