Week 2 Preview: Can ST Division pull off another sweep?

Probably not, but oddsmakers say that at least the Tirades and Packers will improve to 2-0

The second consecutive week of inter-Division play in the JSFL has made it difficult for oddsmakers and the JSFL Today staff to pick a game of the week. After all, every team in the Shit Talkers Division won last week, so all the Silent Division teams are 0-1 (and tied for “first”). Based on guesstimated point scoring by ESPN, we default to the closest and highest-scoring matchup, which surprisingly pits the Rangers against the Tirades. Runner-up game of the week has to be the Saddles and Spread Beaters. Speaking of beating the spread, three ST teams are underdogs this week, so if that division expects another sweep, they might need some luck. Here’s a rundown of this week’s games:

Tirades (-3) vs Rangers: John Lambert is trying to shake off a week one loss to brother Jeff but faces what ESPN says is now the team favored to win the league, since the Spread Beaters dropped their opener last week and have fallen into the No. 2 spot. The Tirades got only two points from RB Raheem Mostert last week before he went down with a knee injury that will cost him the rest of the season; John just laughed at that considering his first-round draft pick JK Dobbins was lost for the whole season about six hours after he was drafted. Clyde Edwards-Helaire, back for his second season with the Tirades, gets the starting call in the backfield with Dalvin Cook. WR Adam Thielen and TE Rob Gronkowski both scored 21 on the bench last week and are now starting as a result. Pat Mahomes goes against the Cleveland defense. The Rangers hope to get some scoring from their backfield (Miles Sanders and, at the moment, the just-acquired Melvin Gordon Jr.) and not depend on Tyreek Hill (25 points last week) to provide a third of the team’s scoring. QB Justin Hebert goes against the Cowboys.

Spread Beaters (-5) vs Saddles: Blayze and his Saddles got a big day from QB Jalen Hurts, but his 28 points was close to half the team’s points output last week. The Saddles will need a better ride from the likes of RBs Najee Harris (4 points) and Jonathan Taylor (11), not to mention wideouts Keenan Allen and DeVonta Smith, who combined for 23. Also, starting the Packers defense (-7!) was not helpful, but it’s apparently tough to get the Wisconsin out of his system because Blayze is still starting them. At least he didn’t draft Aaron Rodgers as well… he let his father-in-law suffer through that debacle (more later). Meanwhile, Matt Pringle is looking to get his team off the schneid this week after getting run into the ground by the Gerbils. Nick Chubb was great (20) and Darren Waller scored 16 (considering he had something like 65 targets, should have been more). He needs a better performance from QB Lamar Jackson, who scored 19 but fumbled three times, and his wide receivers. Mike Evans (2) pulled another vanishing act, as he did half the time last season, and Stefon Diggs (6) was marginal. Dak Prescott (27 points), meanwhile, waits for the Ravens bye week.

Packers (-4) vs Consortium: The Pack won their opener despite almost nothing (1 point) from RB Aaron Jones. Deebo Samuel, who appears to have been reinstated as the 49ers WR1, scored 23 last week and looks to be a solid threat for weekly double-digits. QB Josh Allen (17) had a tough go against the Steelers defense last week, but should fare better against the Dolphins. Matt Huey and his Consortium are sticking with Baker Mayfield at QB, hoping Derrick Henry can batter his way to a big day so it won’t matter what Baker does (I say he’ll get another dozen). WR AJ Brown is questionable, so Huey’s hoping DeAndre Hopkins (20) has another big day.

Invaiders (-6) vs Gerbils: Vern just hates being favored (as he was last week) and he’s slightly distracted because his fantasy baseball team is in the playoffs. Will that be enough of an opening for the Gerbils to crawl in and take advantage? Expect a huge game from RB Antonio Gibson against the Giants and we’ll see if Kyler Murray’s massive week one effort (33 points) is something that can be maintained… he goes against the Vikings. Austin Eckler (11 last week) cracked the starting lineup after James Robinson (4) disappointed so severely that Vern cut him at the first second it was possible. Meanwhile, the Gerbils look to remain unbeaten with a solid 1-2 punch from Christian McCaffrey and Amari Cooper, who combined to score 42 points in week one. Chuck got a surprise 17 points from TE TJ Hockenson against the 49ers, and hopes he can keep that up. The big question mark for the Gerbs this week is QB Ryan Tannehill against Seattle. If he has a big day, the big guy (Vern) could go down.

Recliners (-5) vs Band Aids: Bob’s Band Aids won last week despite the worst game ever from QB Aaron Rodgers (3!). At least he got into positive numbers by the end. Bob cannot expect 22 every week from WR Tyler Lockett, however, but his RB duo of Alvin Kamara and whomever else gets the start beside him should provide some scoring as well. RB Josh Jacobs (15) did just that last week but he’s questionable; look for Myles Gaskin as a possible replacement so Bob does not have to go to the bottom of the well and start Ravens recent pickup Latavius Murray, who will no doubt blow out a knee on his first carry. Chris and the Recliners look to future Hall of Famer Tom Brady to lead them to the promised land, and he’s the first owner in at least five seasons to draft Joe Mixon (20 points) and be happy about it afterward -- at least for now. It made Ezekiel Elliott’s disappearing act (3) a bit easier to take, but that is what cost the Recliners a victory last week against the Tirades (they lost by 5).