Another draft day in the books

Extra picks, combined with some apparently shrewd drafting, have the Spread Beaters and Tirades as the teams to beat in 2021.

Welcome back to the jungle, boys.

It was good to see most of you this weekend. John, you were missed. Let’s hope we can once again gather in another 364 days from now.

Until then, we have step 1 in the books (the annual draft). Who won? Who lost? Who got screwed?

I know you are all dying to know.

I have no idea, and neither do you. But, I will give a quick glance before we crown Matt and Ron with the division titles and wish them well in the 2021 Super Bowl. 2020 champion Matt Huey receives the

At first glance, it looks like both of those Steve Brown Memorial Trophy from JSFL dicks were too damned sober to screw up Commissioner Jeff Lambert prior to the start all of the extra picks they stockpiled from of the 2021 draft.

being laughing stocks last year. If you doubt me, just look at the forecasted opening week score projections (not including quarterbacks) and the Tirades and Spreadbeaters are the early leaders in the clubhouse for scoring. A close third are my own Invaiders.

Shit Talkers Division: Ron took the bull by the horns and flat-out fleeced Bob out of Dalvin Cook for a Snickers’ bar and a beating on the golf course … That is why the golf before the draft is so important. That is where the deals are brokered. After putting Cook in the fold, he went out and had solid pick after solid pick. He has Kansas City as his QB, Clyde Edwards-Helaire and Javonta Williams as No. 2 backs (who needs them with Dalvin?) and the riches continue at WR with D.K. Metcalf and Terry McScorin’. Logan Thomas gets the nod at TE, the Steelers are his defense and the Kansas City magic continues with its kicker.

The Blazing Saddles and the Gerbils (gasp!) might be the odds-on favorite to challenge Ron for the top spot this season.

Blayze (see the note below about wanting more Badgers) left the war room Saturday with Jonathan Taylor and rookie sensation Najee Harris, the two-headed monster at QB in New Orleans, WRs Keenan Allen, Ja’Mar Chase and freakish TE Kyle Pitts.

Chuck made a stunning swap of WR Tyreek Hill to the Rangers for RB Christian McCaffrey. Who cares who else he has? He started the draft with WRs Amari Cooper, Chase Claypool and TE T.J. Hokenson. He then went on a youngster run hoping to dig up some gems for later in the season.

Bob, with no first-round pick, still cobbled together WRs CeeDee Lamb and Tyler Lockett to go with QB Aaron Rodgers and his keeper Alvin Kamara.

If anyone believes what Jeff said Saturday, the Packers' fire sale might start as early as Week 1 or 2. Maybe he needed Bruce Springsteen blaring, Fireball pouring fast and everyone else bombed.

Silent Division: Matt Pringle took a similar path to draft domination by walking away with both Saquon Barkley (grabbed off the waiver wire last season) and Nick Chubb,l whom he snagged in an after-draft deal with Blayze (who wanted another Wisconsin Badger in his backfield). Four thousand draft picks from Jeff also landed him WRs Stephon Diggs, Mike Evans and TE Darren Waller.

The Invaiders left the draft happy to have Davonte Adams, Calvin Ridley and Austin Ekeler along with Kyler Murray, but I will probably play all of the wrong guys and still lose.

Chris made a draft-day deal to land Ezekiel Elliott and will pair him with Joe Mixon, Travis Kelce, WRs Robert Woods, Julio Jones and QB Tom Brady. There may not be many spring chickens on this roster but if he gets decent production out of any of these aging stars and he could be dangerous.

Reigning champ Huey still has Derrick Henry and his “consortium” of draft analysts (were those kids old enough to drink?) actually gave him some good advice as he left the draft with DeAndre Hopkins, A.J. Brown and RB Mike Davis. The air went out of his euphoric balloon with the selection of QB Baker Mayfield but maybe the consortium sees something the rest of us don’t.

The first hosed owner of the year was John, who likely has lost J.K. Dobbins for the season on Saturday night when he was carted off of the field. He starts with WRs Tyreek Hill and Justin Jefferson and TE George Kittle. He may not need RB scoring but he will now have to lean on Myles Sanders and Ronald Jones while we shake our heads at the torn ACL Dobbins suffered.

John Lambert lost his first-round pick just

hours later on Saturday when J.K. Dobbins

(left) suffered what is expected to be a season-ending left knee injury when he was tackled on the Ravens' opening drive.