Welcome to the first level of Bye Week Hell

Welcome to the first of several "Bye Week Hells" in the fantasy football season.

We haven't heard much from George Kittle this season. Will that change this week? Will he have three targets? Three receptions? Dare I say, three touchdowns?

This week, the Lions, Raiders, Titans and Texans are off. Next week (Week 7), the Bills, Vikings, Eagles and Rams are idle. This scheduling fun continues for the next six weeks. We get a pause in Week 12 when all NFL teams play, and then we wrap up with two more weeks of byes heading into our postseason.

So, if you see a zero besides one of your players, you might need to adjust accordingly. After glancing at proposed starting lineups, all idle players appear to be benched. Well done, boys.

The lack of Lions and Raiders, in particular, and another spate of injuries last weekend spurred several waiver-wire moves this week … I guess I have to get quicker when the clock hits 10 a.m. on Tuesdays. I got snaked on two players because I was just a little too slow on the draw.

Along with the “byes” blues, we have several interesting matchups on the docket as we launch Week 6 with an absolute turd of a NFL game Thursday as the Commanders and Bears (yawn) tussle.

Games of the Week

Recliners (-16) vs. Spreadbeaters: When the regular season finally comes down to its final days, I still think these two teams are going to be in the race for the money. This Week 6 battle likely will have a lot of sway to determine which team in the Silent Division holds down the top spot and who is a wild card. Both of these teams are still spitting mad coming off bitter losses in Week 5 and find themselves in a 4-way logjam for first with the Pillow Biters and Invaiders. A little separation anxiety is growing in this division as no one is breaking away from the pack. One loss separates all five teams. So, when looking ahead this matchup, it is a rarity to say it might come down to a tight end. Tight ends, with two exceptions, have sucked as a group. In this one, George Kittle (Recliners) and hybrid freak Taysom Hill both might explode and be the difference. Kittle gets to play the Falcons, who have just rolled out the welcome mat for opposing tight ends this season. Looking down the expected starting lineups, the Recliners hold edges at nearly every position. The biggest edge appears to be in the Recliners’ backfield (Joe Mixon and Saquon Barkley). When in doubt, always take the 49er (Kittle). Take the Recliners and 8.

Over in the Shit Talkers Division …. Toss a coin

Blazing Saddles (-3) vs. Tirades: We might see the return of Jonathan Taylor to the Saddles’ backfield this week. As of this writing, he was still benched. Even without him, the Saddles hold a slight early edge in this one. As is true in the other division, just one win separates all five teams, as Blayze is one game clear of the four-way tie for second. The Tirades have the only stake (Patrick Mahomes) in the shootout that is expected between Kansas City and Buffalo and it might be enough to sway this final score. The rest of the lineups appear to be evenly divided with the Saddles’ receivers and tight end penciling out as the key to a Blayze win. Toss a coin and take the Saddles by 1.

The Rest of the Best

Gerbils (-11) vs. Band Aids: There is always bad blood when these two tangle, and we were hoping Bob had not replaced someone on bye yet but that is not the case. The Gerbils’ RBs (Christian McCaffrey and Leonard Fournette) look to be too much for Garcia.

Take the Men of Troy by 8.

Packers (-6) vs. Invalids: The aforementioned shootout between Kansas City and Buffalo gives Jeff a huge advantage at QB (Josh Allen) that I don’t think the Invalids will be able to overcome. Unless Cooper Fucking Kupp and Travis Fucking Kelce both go off for 4 TDs, this one should go the Packers’ way. Take the Packers and 5.

Pillow Biters (-14) vs. Rangers: Just like the Band Aids lineup, we had hoped the Rangers had forgotten to replace an idle starter when we saw this big line posted by the prognosticators at ESPN. No such luck. Huey is penciled in with huge advantages at QB (Kyler Murray vs. Matthew Stafford) and at lead RB (Nick Chubb vs. Travis Etienne Jr.). Unless the two Justins -- Jefferson and Tucker – go off for 20+ each for the Rangers, this one will be a rout.

Take the Pillow Biters by 10