Saddles plant flag for share of division title

Tirades win to keep pace in ST Division; Recliners can lean back after beating Pillows to clinch Silent Division title

Blayze only needed one point from Mike Evans on Monday night, he got five (and the win).

The Blazing Saddles planted their flag in Week 13, staking a claim that likely paves the team’s return to the playoffs with a stirring, 5-point win over the Pack. With the Pillow Biters and Invalids looming to close out his slate, Blayze has all but claimed at least a share of the division title. Win both, and he goes in as the No. 2 seed. It is not a locked-up title as the Tirades kept pace with a dominating win over the Gerbils, who were still licking their wounds from the USC loss to Utah in the PAC-12 Championship.

The top seed, the Recliners, claimed their 11th win of the season and locked up the other division title as the Spread Beaters stumbled against the suddenly surging Band Aids. (Note to Bob: After you trade away your core players, you are supposed to be cannon fodder; easy, cakewalk wins for the contending teams). Bob apparently has not received that league memo as he has knocked two playoff contenders in the last few weeks.

The only disappointing news for the league’s best team was the apparent short-term loss of Lamar Jackson. When questioned in the press conference after the game, Recliners’ GM Chris Zimnoch said, “Lamar is fine. We had planned to rest him the next two weeks anyway so he would be ready for the real action in three weeks.”

This week’s roundup is being cobbled together by Vern as our chief of communications, Ron Hender, is spending the week in Mumbai. He will have the honors of doing the Week 14 preview. So, if there is anything special you want Ron to bring home in his carry on, he says, “Dream on. The suitcase is already full.”

Here’s a look at what happened in Week 13 …

Saddles, 79, Packers 74: OK, it is not like Blayze is setting the world on fire, but he has two wins in the last two weeks by a total of 6 points. A win, as they say, is a win. And, as fate would have it, this game likely came down to the final 36 seconds of the Seattle Seahawks’ win over the Los Angeles Rams when D.K. Metcalf hauled in a game-winning TD pass en route to his game-high 18 for Blayze. Justin Herbert posted 17 and Younghoe Koo kicked through 14 points. The game was tied 74-all going into Monday night’s game and Mike Evans hauled in 5 points to seal the win. Josh Jacobs led the Pack with 19 points, Josh Allen scored 17 and Evan McPherson kicked 10. The Pack left a 20-point effort from Christian Watson and 14 points from Samaje Perine on the bench.

Recliners 107, Pillows 74: Tony Pollard rumbled for 22 points and Tyreek Hill hauled in another 20 to lead the Recliners. But, all eyes will be on news reports out of the Baltimore locker room on the health of QB Lamar Jackson. Chris does have the Tampa Bay QB as a backup but Baltimore still managed 16 in the win with Jackson out most of the game. The Pillow Biters got 16 from Terry McLaurin (A Scorin’ McLaurin sighting!), 16 more from Dak Prescott, and 15 from Ceedee Lamb.

Tirades 101, Gerbils 82: The Cleveland defense is all that needs to be said about this game. The Dog Pound dropped a triple-decker 30 on the Gerbils to salt this one away. Patrick Mahomes scored 18 and Stephon Diggs 15 in the win. The Gerbils got 29 points from Joe Burrow, 20 from Christian McCaffrey (could he be QBing the 49ers this week???) and no one else reached double figures. Miles Garrett (95) and the Browns defense.

Band Aids 109, Spread Beaters 84: The biggest head-scratcher of the week was this one. The Fighting Garcias got all up in Pringle’s grill and may have derailed Spread Beater hopes for a playoff spot. The Spread Beaters still hold the second-highest scoring total in the league but now find themselves in a three-way tie for third place with the Tirades and Rangers. One of those three teams, maybe two if the Pack can win out, might not make the playoffs. The Fighting Garcias were led by Detroit WR (when have we said that in the last year) Amon-Ra St. Brown’s 23 points, 19 from the Dallas defense and 19 more from Justin Fields and the Chicago QBs. Pringle countered with 34 from Jalen Hurts, 23 from A.J. Brown and no one else reached double figures. The Spread Beaters have the toughest row to hoe over the next two weeks. He has to win at least one, maybe both (he closes against the Rangers) to get in.

Rangers 81, Invalids 56: The “other” Lambert now might control his own destiny. If the Rangers can win out, he can ruin the Spread Beaters’ season. The Rangers kept their playoff hopes alive with a 25-point drubbing of a crappy Division II team. Davante Adams (a member of Vern’s Super Bowl champions last year) dropped a 29-point bomb on the Invalids. Derek Carr added 16 more for the Rangers and Justin Jefferson scored 11. Garrett Wilson was the only ray of hope for the Invalids with his 16.