Pack, Beaters, Recliners are teams to beat
- vahrendes
- 4 hours ago
- 5 min read
We are two days away from the start of the 2025 season and three teams – the Packers, the Spread Beaters and Recliners – are the teams ESPN thinks are the ones with bullseyes on their backs. According to the post-draft power rankings ESPN displayed, Jordan’s WTNE is the fourth-best team as we kickoff the season.
Should we be surprised by this development? Naw. The Pack had the first pick and Jeff made the most of his protectee – RB De’Von Achane – and used the first pick to double down and snap up 49ers RB Christian McCaffrey. Achane continues to carry a “Questionable” tag but has returned to practice while dealing with the same type of calf issue that ruined McCaffrey’s (and the Tirades’) season a year ago. Yay, 49ers!
Before we pencil in those four teams into the playoffs, it is a good time to look back the highs and lows of the 2025 Draft. The highs? Bob Garcia celebrating his 2024 Championship, and hardly any early picks. And the low? What the hell was John thinking? I wasn’t even there but I am sure I was not the only one shaking his head when the Rangers protected Jalen Hurts (Philadelphia QB) and used his first pick to take Buffalo QB Josh Allen. There must be some grand scheme here, which might include tanking for the first pick in 2026, but none of it makes any sense as we get ready to kick things off.
I am assuming the trade phone in Chandler, Ariz., is available to all comers. At any time of the day or night.
Is John seriously tossing in the towel before the season starts and banks on landing a skad of 2026 draft picks that fueled the early-season prognostications for the Spread Beaters, who landed the Mother Lode and three of Bob’s early draft picks when the Band Aids went all-in last season to trade for RB Derrick Henry and his thirst for the championship trophy.
Who sucked on Draft Day? Defending Champ Bob Garcia, come on down. He sits in the 10th spot established by ESPN followed, in reverse order of suckage, by Who Dey, the Westchester Gerbils and the Chandler Rangers.
Enjoy the draft recap and remember we have two games this week before Sunday morning. The Cowboys and Eagles kick things off Thursday evening (5:20 p.m. PDT kickoff) and the Chiefs and Chargers travel to Brazil for a Friday evening (5 p.m. PDT kickoff) test. Look for the full Week 1 predictions coming on Thursday morning.
Del Mar Packers: Damn, those first picks each round sure stack up nicely when all is said and done. Along with Achane and McCaffrey, Jeff snagged A.J. Brown and Tyreek Hill at his primary WRs, Sam LaPorta at tight end, and Lamar Jackson at QB. That sixsome will be tough to beat week in and week out. Add in Brandon Aubrey at kicker and Jeff could be a finalist as December draws nearer. Great bargain picks were WRs George Pickens and Green Bay’s Matthew Golden.
Santa Monica Spread Beaters: Will Matt run the table? He could take many of his backups and beat most teams in the league. The Beaters kept WR Amon-Ra St. Brown and built awesome WR depth with Drake London and Nico Collins (and he has Calvin Ridley riding the pine for now). His only Achilles could be that he took two rookies at RB in Ashton Jeanty and Omarion Hampton. If either one flops, he has James Conner and D’Andre Swift lurking on the pine. He took last year’s most electric rookie at QB in Jayden Daniels of the Commanders. He rounds out his lineup with the preseason No. 1 defense (Denver) and one of the top kickers in Younghoe Koo of Atlanta.
Hermosa Recliners: It is hard to find soft spots in the lineup Chris pieced together, headlined by keeper Bijan Robinson. He will start with Puka Nakua and DK Metcalf at WR, and Chuba Hubbard at RB2 and JK Dobbins at flex. He also landed one of the premier TEs in Trey McBride and Jake Elliott at kicker, and will send out Joe Burrow at QB.
WTNE: As goes Saquon Barkley, so will go WTNE. That is not a bad place to be and Jordan knows it. He has two rising stars at WR in Malik Nabers and Ladd McConkey, Brock Bowers at tight end, Alvin Kamara at RB2, Zay Flowers at flex and Justin Herbert at QB. Jets WR Garrett Wilson lurks on the bench.
Invaiders: The Invaiders went WR/WR with their first two picks – protecting CeeDee Lamb and took Jag Brian Thomas Jr. -- and still had RBs Kyren Williams and Kenneth Walker III fall to them. Isiah Pacheco is penciled in at flex, Bo Nix will be at QB and an aging Travis Kelce will start at tight end.
Marietta Tirades: Ron may regret letting McCaffrey go, but starting a lineup with Ja’Marr Chase doesn’t suck. Rounding out his starters, the Tirades will build around workhorse RB Jonathan Taylor, WR Marvin Harrison Jr., QB Brock Purdy (yay, 49ers!) and aging RB Breece Hall at flex. No one is quite sure who the lead back in Cleveland will be, but Ron is hoping and praying it will be Jerome Ford once more. He also might regret taking one more bite of the Kyle Pitts experiment at tight end. He has some interesting talent on the bench in WRs DJ Moore and Emeka Egbuka and Commander RB Jacory Croskey-Merritt (those Brian Robinson carries have to go to someone).
Chandler Rangers: If you wanted to tank for the first pick in 2026, you could not have followed a better script than the one John followed on Draft Day. If this was a two-QB league, he would be dynamite. If Jalen Hurts gets hurt, he could be brilliant. If he bags a half dozen picks in 2026, he could be a genius. In reality, it looks like it will be a long year for the Rangers. He still has some punch behind Jalen Hurts in RBs Josh Jacobs and Aaron Jones Sr. and WRs Terry McLaurin and Xavier Worthy and Mike Evans at flex. On the bench are WRs Cooper ‘Fuckin’ Kupp and Deebo Samuel and rookie RB Cam Skattebo.
Westchester Gerbils: We can understand what John might have been thinking on Draft Day, but Chuck – WTF? Questionable picks litter this lineup. There is no questioning his keeper, Jahmyr Gibbs, or taking QB Patrick Mahomes at a nice discount later in the draft. Between those two were WRs Davante Adams and Rome Odunze and rookie RB TreVeyon Henderson. WR Courtland Sutton is at flex with WRs DeVonta Smith and Michael Pittman Jr. on the bench.
Who Dey: The Swami thinks Matthew did better than ESPN is giving him credit for. The fact that there are hardly any Bengals on this roster shows balls. He kept WR Justin Jefferson (still carrying a questionable tag for a sore left hammy) and added RBs Bucky Irving and obligatory Bengal RB Chase Brown, WR Jaxon Smith-Ngigba and Denver rookie RB RJ Henry at flex. Jordan Love at QB might need and upgrade (he has Trevor Lawrence on the bench).
Band Aids: The defending champions will live and die with keeper RB Derrick Henry and a lot of hopes and prayers. As of this writing, he has one starter suspended (Rashee Rice) and only two starters projected for double-digit points in the opener. David Montgomery will be another boom-or-bust option at RB, Tee Higgins and likely Khalil Shakir will take to two starting WR spots, leaving someone like RB Tyrone Tracy Jr., Javonte Williams or Austin Ekeler as his starting flex. Yikes. Could Bob really go from champion to the first pick in 2026 in Las Vegas? Crazier things have happened.
Comments