Keep barf bags handy; Tirades, Band Aids still have a pulse

Tirades stun Saddles to keep playoff hopes alive, but Cook's injury may dampen things; Band Aids in 4-way tie with teams waiting in wings

Dalvin Cook's dislocated shoulder (which already had a torn labrum) may have also carted away any hopes of a playoff run by the Tirades.

It is the final countdown to the playoffs. We have three more weeks to sort out who the third and fourth participants will be to try and unseat reigning champion Huey and The Consortium.

We thought we had three clear frontrunners until the Thanksgiving weekend, when the Tirades threw a monkey wrench into the STer Division with a stunning upset of the Blazing Saddles. When we say stunning, we are talking about on the biblical level of stunning. Fire. Brimstone. Hell. High water. And lots and lots of dead bodies.

The Tirades victory, the team's second win in three weeks, delays Blayze’s plan to uncork champagne for at least one more week. Ron remains alive and two games back for the division title with three left. The Saddles close with the Pack, The Consortium and the Recliners. The Tirades have a tougher road with the Gerbils, Pack and Invaiders, and may have just lost RB1 Dalvin Cook for an extended period of time due to injury, though the Vikings current statement is that he's "day to day."

Blayze just needs two wins or a win and a Tirades’ loss to uncork the bubbly and celebrate a spot in the playoffs.

The Spread Beaters and Invaiders, both at 10-2 (yawn, are they still playing?), have already clinched playoff berths and are jockeying for who gets the division title and the No. 1 seed which will likely avoid a first-round battle against the Saddles. Those two teams square off in two weeks. Four more teams remain in the playoff mix, all at 5-7: the Pack, Recliners, Rangers and Band Aids. Yeah, I wrote the Band Aids with a straight face. Stranger things have happened in this league.

Looking ahead to Week 13, the Tirades hope to continue the roll against the 3-9 Gerbils, and the Saddles and Pack do battle. In the Silent Division, the Recliners get The Consortium and the Invaiders and Rangers battle. The lone interconference game this week is the Spread Beaters and the Band Aids, which should put an end to any hopes Bob Garcia has of a playoff run.

Tirades 85, Blazing Saddles 49: We thought we had put a fork in the Tirades last week. Not so fast, Ron quips. With Blayze’s big guns apparently overdosed on tryptophan from too much turkey, they posted a miserable 49 points and got only one scorer in double digits (Jonathan Taylor had 15 points, almost all of them in the final minutes of a loss). The Tirades, however, were double-digit fiends across the boxscore. The Miami defense led the way with 21, Joe Burrow tossed in 15 and A.J. Dillon added 14. For good measure, Rob Gronkowski amassed 12 and Robbie Gould 10. The only dent was the potential loss of Cook. Ron will be checking the medical report first thing Tuesday and will almost surely be surfing the free agent pool for the stretch drive.

Band Aids 91, Packers 81: Check your pulse rate. You may not like to hear this: Bob is still alive for the playoffs. Not only did we think we had put a fork in the Band Aids, we were pretty sure a 10-inch, double-sided dagger was buried deep in their hearts. Pulled out, and buried again. But, there they still are, hanging around like a worn-out shoe, or that least-favorite uncle who burps and farts at the holiday dinner gatherings. Bob is going to need a lot of help and a lot of losses from teams tied with him (Jeff, Chris, John, to name a few) to hang around another week. This time around, Bob got a 12-point effort from Mark Andrews Sunday night to secure the win, including a fantastic one-handed catch while on the turf after he was interfered with). All he had to hope for was Tyler Lockett not fumbling more than once Monday night. And, dang, he didn’t. Aaron Rodgers carved up the Rams defense for 26 points, Josh Jacobs rumbled for 16 on Thanksgiving and Brandin Cooks hauled in a TD for 10 points. The Pack got 26 from Josh Allen, 19 from Deebo Samuel (who's now out for two weeks with an injury) and 16 from the suddenly resurgent Myles Gaskin.

Recliners 101, Gerbils 60: We warned you a few weeks back, the dark horse in the playoff run just might be the Recliners. With the easiest schedule the next two weeks, the Recliners may not have to score a bunch to get two more wins before closing against the likely top seed in the STer Division, the Saddles. It is not out of the realm of possibility the Recliners are sitting at .500 in two weeks and looking to sneak in. Chris romped in this one behind 28 from Joe Mixon, 21 from Nick Folk and 17 from Tee Higgins. The Gerbils countered with 16 from Javonte Williams and 15 from Dawson Knox. That is the fourth straight loss for the Gerbs and now are in a battle with The Consortium, both at 3-9, for the first pick in 2022.

Spread Beaters 60, Rangers 59: Scoring was at a premium in this one, too. Matt got 14 from his New England defense and 13 from Stephon Diggs. “We got all we needed,” Matt said nervously afterward. “Just win, and advance.” The Beaters may have to think hard about the playability of Lamar Jackson in the final stretch of the season. He has just been brutal the last few starts. When your kicker scores more than your QB, that is not a good thing. This week, Lamar posted a putrid 8 after being projected for 24. Nick Chubb was not much better, scoring only 3 in Sunday night’s awful Baltimore vs. Cleveland game. Dak Prescott put 25 on the board Thanksgiving and Cordarrelle Patterson 24, both on the bench. The Rangers could only get 19 from Justin Herbert.

Invaiders 89, The Consortium 32: Remember when we made fun of Chuck’s scoring futility earlier this season? That is the dishonor that has fallen now on the defending champions, who sputtered to a season-low 32 over the holiday weekend. In Week 12, no Consortiumner scored in double digits. The Invaiders iced this one early as Austin Ekeler scored 15, and got 11 each from Cooper Kupp and the Buffalo defense. On Monday, Russell Wilson scored 18 and Antonio Gibson added 16.