Five burning questions as Week 5 dawns

Can the Band Aids win their third straight? When will the Tirades start their fire sale? And is there anything worth selling? (No)

Packers owner Jeff Lambert is hoping to see first-round pick Ja'Marr Chase flex his scoring muscles this week against the Band Aids.

There are dozens of burning questions itching to come out as Week 5 gets ready to kick off with Indianapolis taking on the Denver Broncos as both teams are without their star running backs.

Topping my list of 5 questions that hopefully will be answered soon are:

Can the Band Aids win their third straight?

Where have all of the impact running backs gone?

Who wins the race to the bottom?

Are the Band Aids for real?

And, Which Packers team shows up this week?

Let’s try to unpack a couple of those juicy topics.

Game of the Week

Packers (-2) vs Band Aids: Bob Garcia's Band Aids, losers of their first two games, are hoping to continue the improbable turnaround and win their third straight victory as they take on Jeff’s Packers (1-3), who avoided their first-ever 0-4 start with a big win in Week 4. Maybe the question should be, “Are the Band Aids for real?” and a quick follow-up, “Which is the real Packers?” Was it the Packers that struggled through the first three weeks, or the one that exploded for a bunch of points last week? As silly as this sounds, this game might be crucial in the final standings as no team in the Shit-Talkers’ Division has looked like a powerhouse.

ESPN favors the Pack in this one by two points. When diving into individual matchups, the Packers have an edge at nearly every position. We agree and favor the Packers by 3.

The Rest of the Best

Blazing Saddles (-13) vs. Rangers: Where have the quality running backs gone?

When we look back at the preseason consensus Top 5 at the position, four of the five (Derrick Henry being the lone exception so far) have stunk to date. And, Blayze now knows as he has stepped off of a plane from Hawaii that his keeper, Jonathan Taylor, is ruled “out” for Week 5 and rides the pine this week. At least our weary traveler kept tabs on the roster and currently has Taylor benched as we look at early lineups. It may not matter for the Saddles. Even with Taylor sidelined, the Saddles are still double-digit favorites this week against the Rangers. Take the Saddles by 9.

Beaters (-10) vs Invalids: In the Silent Division, two games loom that should give some breathing room to the clear, early-season favorites. The Spreadbeaters look for their fourth win against the punchless Invaiders, and the Recliners and Pillow Biters square off in the other half of the Silent Division twinbill. Pringle’s boys should mop up the Invaiders. ESPN gives the Beaters a 10-point advantage, but I am going out on a very short limb to claim the Beaters win this one by at least 25. It is not just that Pringle snagged two picks right out from under my nose on Draft Day, but the replacements for those hoped-for players have been just dreadful. This brings us to the final question posed: “Who wins the race to the bottom?” The Tirades, off to a sluggish 1-3 start, look like the early leaders in the clubhouse but this Invaiders team has been downright dreadful. It should be 0-4 and looking for its first win. A look at the numbers show why. The Invaiders are dead last in scoring, mustering a dismal 263 points so far (24 points fewer than the Rangers). Do the math. That is a putrid 65.75 points a game. Other advantages on the Invaiders’ side is they still face two likely losses to the Rangers soon, and have three dates with the Tirades before this season winds down. Yawn. “With the first pick, Vern takes …” We detect scurrying in the garage of the Invaiders’ headquarters. The fall “fire sale” might be coming soon to a corner near you. Beaters flog the Invaiders by 25.

Recliners (-10) vs. Pillow Biters: Chris Zimnoch has a similar 10-point advantage, per ESPN, as he is in search of his fourth win of the season. When diving into the matchups, this one looks a lot closer than ESPN is predicting. The combo of Lamar Jackson, Joe Mixon, Saquon Barkley, Tyreek Hill and DaVonte Parker pose an imposing challenge for the Pillow Biters.

Recliners by 8.

Gerbils (+2) vs. Tirades: How can Ron only have one win? That might be the next question worth pondering. He has been favored in almost every match he has had so far. Injuries have been the primary culprit. And, Week 4 was no different as two more running backs were sidelined. The Tirades went shopping and landed two decent replacements on Tuesday – Rhamondre Stevenson and Raheem Mostert. Both of the new RBs will start their Tirades’ career on the bench as Dalvin Cook and Miles Sanders will be the starters this week. And if Stephon Diggs drops a bomb on Pittsburgh Sunday, this one might be over before the Patrick Mahomes steps on the field Monday. Tirades by 5.