Merry fucking Christmas, Bob!

Playoff field is finally set after a wild 24-hour span and Tirades' complete and utter collapse (surprise! not really a surprise at all)

Cooper Fucking Kupp scored a bunch of points and the Invaiders won yet again. Yawn. Next.

What a wild 24 hours that was. On Monday afternoon, we had all but given the final playoff spot to Ron Hender’s Tirades – up with one of the best running backs still to go and both of his receivers. But, my, what unfolded can only be described as bizarre. The Tirades got little or nothing from those three and the Invaiders rallied with more than 40 points Tuesday night to end the Tirades’ hopes and give Bob Garcia and the Band Aids the fourth and final playoff spot.

Those Invaiders and Band Aids are expected to face each other when the playoff brackets are updated Wednesday, and the Blazing Saddles should be taking on the Santa Monica Spread Beaters. To hint we thought this might unfold this way would be the biggest lie we have shared this season. No one saw this coming, other than the ever-confident Band Aids.

“We own the Invalids,” Garcia said. “We are their worst nightmare. Make plans now for the Band Aids in the Super Bowl. Guaranteed.”

The added indignity is that Ron will be our special correspondent for the final two weeks of this season, along with a (not so) detailed preview of the playoff pairings coming later this week. "Not so detailed" because he no longer gives a shit and has started preparing for the baseball season. "Fuck all of you," he said. "Pitchers and catchers report in seven weeks."

The only other games of significance in Week 15 involved the two teams fighting for the dishonor of the worst of the worst. Chuck’s Gerbils took that dishonor at the hands of the Band Aids. Huey’s Consortium also got whipped (by the Spread Beaters) to finish with identical 3-12 records of misery. Chuck gets the nod for the first pick for being the worst scorer in JSFL history (at least for 15 games, that is not in doubt as this is the first 15-game season we have had; Chuck, you’re No. 1!).

The biggest developments of Week 15 were some potentially crippling injuries or COVID issues for three teams in the championship playoffs. The Spread Beaters lost Mike Evans at least for the first week of the playoffs, the Invaiders may have lost their entire starting backfield -- Austin Ekeler was rumored to be on the COVID list but was thankfully not on it Tuesday morning, and Leonard Fournette pulled a hamstring that sidelines him at least for Week 16 and maybe the week after, and the Blazing Saddles learned Monday that Travis Kelce was placed on the reserve/COVID-19 list.

There likely will be some meaningless consolation games this week, but they don’t count for squat.

Invaiders 98, Tirades 69: This one took a stunning turn starting Monday evening. With Dalvin Cook, DK Metcalf and KJ Osborn still to play, the Tirades were estimated to win and advance to the playoffs. A foot was firmly on the Invaiders' neck in this one. Cook put up 8 instead of 17. Metcalf was held to 5 and Osborn only managed 2. That lack of scoring opened the door for Cooper Fucking Kupp’s team-high 25 points, Dallas Goedert’s 13 and Matt Gay’s 8 on Tuesday evening to win in a runaway. The Invaiders will ride a 5-game winning streak into the playoffs. The Tirades had a 3-game win streak snapped and lost all three times they played the Invaiders this season. The Tirades got a team-high 30 from Patrick Mahomes. No one else reached double figures. If only Ron had played 49ers RB Jeff Wilson, who rumbled for 17... (editor's note: that would not have made a fucking difference, Vern, and you know it).

Band Aids 72, Gerbils 55: The Band Aids will enter the playoffs on a four-game win streak, but since the last two were both against The Gerbils, do they still count? (editor's note: NO). Aaron Rodgers led Garcia’s team with 23 points and Brandin Cooks (editor's note: WHO? I thought he retired because he sucks so much) added 22. The Gerbils happily end the season losing seven straight and can begin the scouting combine for who they will take first next season. Devin Singletary had a team-high 15 points, kicker Evan McPherson added 13 and Kirk Cousins added 10.

Spread Beaters 71, The Consortium 38: Mark Andrews hauled in two touchdowns and scored 25 to give the Spread Beaters almost all of the points they would need in this one. Nick Chubb added 15 and Dak Prescott 11. The win snapped a two-game losing streak for Matt. The Consortium had no one in double figures. The Rams defense and Taysom Hill both finished with a team-high 9 points. Huey ends the season on a six-game losing skid.

Rangers 87, Packers 71: John and Jordan Lambert will have the final bragging rights for 2021 as they handed Jeff a 16-point loss. Justin Herbert led the Rangers with 22, Tyreek Hill added 20 and Myles Sanders added 14. The win ended a three-game losing streak for the Rangers. Josh Allen led The Pack with 20, Deebo Samuel scored 14 and Dalton Schultz added 12. The Pack finish the season with four straight losses.

Blazing Saddles 115, Recliners 53: Travis Kelce and league MVP Jonathan Taylor was all that was needed in this one. The good news is maybe Blayze has shot his wad and will have nothing left for the playoffs. At presstime, there was speculation Kelce may not be available this week. If Kelce can go, the Blazing Saddles look like the frontrunner to hoist the trophy and bottle of Fireball next August. Kelce grabbed 2 TDs and amassed nearly 200 yards of receiving yardage en route to a team-high 31 points. Taylor was held in check for most of the game until he exploded for a 67-yard TD late Saturday on his way to 23 points. Keenan Allen added 13. The win was the third straight for Blayze. The Recliners got 16 from the Dallas defense and 13 from Ezekiel Elliott. The loss ended a three-game winning streak for Chris.