All eyes on Beaters, WTNE

And then there were four ... teams tied (at 6-7) for the final playoff spot with two weeks to go, that is. Two of those teams have realistic chances.

The Band Aids hope to get a boost from Amon-Ra St. Brown tonight as the Lions host the Packers on Thursday Night Football.

We are going to go out on a limb and predict Bob Garcia will get his head out of his butt and win that elusive game to vault him into the Shitty Teams Division championship and the automatic berth in the money round that goes with it.

But who will be playoff team No. 4?

WTF? That is about all I can come up with as I sit down to write a preview of the Week 14 matchups that might decide who the Final of the Four might be.

We figured with Matt Pringle cashing in his players for draft picks last week before his meeting with Shitty Division-leading Band Aids (moving two of his best players, in fact, across the field to Bob’s lust-filled hands). But, as the old football coach used to say, “I can beat you with my players, or I can take your players and beat you with them.”

Such was the case last week when the Spread Beaters stuck a dagger in Bob’s ribs as he was reaching for a second helping of turkey. Bob should still limp home with the third “Golden Ticket,” joining Silent-Division clinchers the Recliners and Rangers. John punched his ticket with a come-from-behind win last week.

“I am not supposed to be winning,” Pringle lamented last weekend. But, win he did and he will go into the next-to-the-last weekend of regular season play with the Spread Beaters now in the driver’s seat to control their own destiny and put the same gravy-stained fork into the ribs of Jordan, Chuck and Ron.

As we kick off Week 14, four teams (the Spread Beaters, WTNE, Gerbils and Tirades) sit in a tie at 6-7 with one of those four grabbing the final playoff spot. There is still a mathematical chance for Chuck’s Gerbils or Ron’s Tirades to catch Bob in wins, but it does not matter as the Band Aids have a heavy scoring advantage (1,315 points for Bob; 1,207 for the Gerbils; and 1,169 for the Tirades) so it is just a matter of time before the “x” for clinching the division and a playoff spot pops up alongside Bob’s team. Bob might punch his ticket this weekend against long-time rival Chuck and The Gerbils.

There really are only three games that matter this week as our league tip-toes through the minefield known as “Byemaggedon” as six NFL teams are off this week. The bye-gutted Spread Beaters are current 4-point underdogs against the Invaiders; Who Dey eventually will be a big underdog against WTNE; and the Band Aids are a current 2-point dog to the Gerbils. If we still have a 3-way tie heading into the final week of the season, WTNE takes on the Packers, the Spread Beaters play the Rangers, the Gerbils face the Recliners and the Tirades and Band Aids tangle.

A win this week is a must this week for the Tirades, Beaters and Gerbils for any realistic chance to keep pace with the other strong horse in the final four — Jordan's WTNE.

While the struggle for the final playoff spot unfolds, a lot of eyes will be watching what might be a sneak peek at a potential Super Bowl pairing as the Silent Division champ Recliners play the Rangers.

The Week Ahead

The NFL starts the week tonight with a potential scoring free-for-all as the Green Bay Packers travel to Ford Field to take on the Detroit Lions. The Chargers visit the Chiefs Sunday night and the schedule closes out with the Bengals visiting the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night.

In between games tonight and Monday are 10 other battles, leaving few choices to grab to plug gaping holes in JSFL lineups. Here's a look at the week fourteen matchups.

Game of the Week

Spread Beaters (6-7) vs Invaiders (5-8), Invaiders favored by 4: Matt Pringle has been dreading this week for about a month now. He saw most of his starting lineup was lazing at the beach or sipping margaritas by the pool. The big piece missing this week will be Commander RB Brian Robinson Jr. Pringle will roll the dice with Charger RB Gus Edwards and he still apparently hopes the Invaiders take him out of contention this week. ESPN does not have any clear favorites to score this week as the QB, both RBs and the flex and kicker are all pushes. The Beaters get the edge with former Band Aid Amon-Ra St. Brown at WR and a big night Thursday could seal his doom and Cade Otton at tight end. The Invaiders get an edge with Ceedee Lamb at WR1 and the Cardinals defense at home to the Seahawks. The Beaters (with King Derrick Henry and TE Travis Kelce) won the first meeting, 88-75, in Week 5. The Invaiders have been underperforming estimates all season. We don’t buy this line. Take the Beaters by 1.

The Close Ones?

Who Dey (5-8) vs WTNE (6-7), WTNE should be favored by 22: There are some clear favorites in this matchup but not a lot of points are projected between the two teams (but Jordan still had not swapped out two players on bye this week as I am writing this Thursday morning). But, if Saquon does another one of his “Saquons” like he did two weeks ago, this one could be over quickly. Once Jordan subs in Jake Burrow at QB and likely WR Xavier Worthy, Jordan should be favored at just about every starting position. Take WTNE by 15.

Band Aids (8-5) vs Gerbils (6-7), Gerbils favored by 2: The Gerbils would love nothing better than to give Bob a little more agony this season and keep Bob from sweeping this series (the Band Aids won in Week 6, 90-89). This one gets off to a rapid start Thursday as Bob’s QB and RB (Jared Goff and Josh Jacobs) and Chuck’s RB Jahmyr Gibbs square off. Chuck has some opportunities to take advantage of the schedule as his flex (RB Chase Brown) and WR Tee Higgins get the porous Dallas defense. Those two pairings lean Chuck’s way, along with his QB (Minnesota’s Sam Darnold) at home against the Atlanta Falcons. Another sneaky pairing looks to be in Chuck’s favor as Bucky Irving is at home against the Raiders. ESPN disagrees and thinks Josh Jacobs will have more chances to score Thursday against Detroit, which is one of the best run defenses in the league. Take The Gerbils by 1.

Tirades (6-7) vs Packers (3-10), Tirades favored by 14. This one could end up being a lot closer than ESPN is projecting, or the Tirades might win by 20. Who knows what these knuckleheads are going to do from one week to the next? The Tirades are favored across the board at five starting positions and statistical pushes at both RB spots. After losing RB Christian McCaffrey for the rest of the season, Ron will roll out the 49ers’ third RB (Isaac Guerendo) at the flex position and will hope his mid-season trades for Ja’Marr Chase, A.J. Brown and Brock Bowers will give him enough breathing room to clinch this win and pray for a miracle next week. Take the Tirades by 10.

The Blowout?

Recliners (11-2) vs Rangers (9-4), Rangers favored by 17: The Rangers would not mind making a statement heading into the playoffs and John could get some revenge for the Week 9 loss to the Recliners, 92-87. The Rangers come in heavily favored at six starting spots (QB Jalen Hurts, RB Kyren Williams, WR Mike Evans, TE George Kittle, flex WR Davante Adams and the Pittsburgh kicker, Chris Boswell). The Recliners get an edge at RB with Bijan Robinson, WR Marvin Harrison Jr. and the New Orleans Saints defense. Take the Rangers by 15.